Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts

Thursday, December 6, 2018

What a Fortnight!

Sis had the flu and now she has pneumonia.  It's been a rough two weeks for her and, while she is on oral meds at home, she is still coughing and exhausted.  We have reassurances from school that she'll catch up--they'll adjust her assignments and excuse the absences with a doctor's note.  Right now, she's too tired even to contemplate work.  She's not even going to see her horse often, so you know she doesn't feel well.





And right in the middle of that, Bud started throwing up and missed a few days of school himself.  We thought he might be getting the flu, too, but we were all tested and are negative.  It just must have been some virus that thankfully we didn't all catch.  Now he's just jealous that his sister doesn't have to go to school, even if she's sick.

What else?  I think I have a whole list of things to mention (pardon the repeat from my email in some bullet points, Lambeth!)


  • Did I ever even talk about Halloween?  Sis was Dean, from the tv show "Supernatural," one of the demon-and-monster fighting brothers in a show that crosses "X-Files" and "Buffy."  Bud was Dipper, from the animated show "Gravity Falls;" he's a code-breaking sleuth.  We went to the office Halloween party and then, night of, they had friends over for pizza and trick or treating and a huge candy swap at the end.  I love that they still want to trick or treat as teenagers AND that are neighbors don't seem to care about their age.
  • About the same time, I had my own party:  a hygge party, based on the Scandinavian idea of coziness.  I had a few close friends over for a casual night of comfy clothes, Frito chili pie, hot buttered rum, almond cake, candles, fairy lights, and conversation.  And we all thoroughly enjoyed it.  I didn't rush around preparing, nor did my friends expect any sophisticated entertaining--we actually curled up on the couches under various afghans! I even gave them all fluffy socks and little candles.  Delightful!
  • Our cat Hermione has developed arthritis.  She moves awkwardly and slowly, preferring little cat stairs to get on the bed or couch.  And she is always looking for warmth and so sleeps behind my knees in the bend in my legs, sits next to anyone on the couch, follows the sun patches around the house through the day, or curls up in her special heat-generating "poofs" (which have a layer of that silver-ish, heat-reflecting material they give to marathoners and people in crisis.)  Though, she can still "high tail" it for food or to chase the other female cat, Eris. To help Hermione out a bit, we're now giving her CBD oil, the non-hallucinogenic substance in marijuana (as opposed to TCH.)  They say it has a physical effect sort of like a warm bath; she does seem a bit more physically relaxed.  She has definitely relaxed a bit about Eris, so that Eris can now sleep on the big master bed during the day and was even curled up not too far from Hermione the other day (though definitely not touching.)  And our new Romeo is settling in, spending his days with Sis, who curls up in a big, soft, pink, fluffy blanket.  He even sleeps with her (which is good because Hermione won't let him on the bed in our room.)  he'll miss her when she's well, though at least he will have the blanket.
  • We have a new street!  After a few years of widening pot holes and deteriorating asphalt, the street has been re-paved.  It's lovely, though we still don't have curbs.  I've got my fingers crossed for curbs so that the water doesn't erode my yard where it meets the road as it has for a few years now, creating a wider and deeper ditch that I have to specially mark so people don't trip (especially on Halloween!)  Good thing people don't walk around much, I suppose.  Because we won't ever get sidewalks!
  • I am taking two classes at seminary (though, online) come springtime as I begin work on my MA of Religious Studies in order to become a board-certified chaplain.  One class is the history of Christianity, which will look at the different iterations (Ethiopian cave churches, Roman catacombs, evangelical tent revivals) from the early church to present.  I think it will have a lot of archaeology, which I especially like.  Second is "There's Something about Mary," which examines the different Marys of the Bible in a socio-historical and also (oh, the lingo) a "womanist biblical hermeneutics"!!!!!  The final project is to examine a contemporary representation of a Mary--I'm thinking Andrew Lloyd Webber's hippy Magdalene or the almost-Booker prize winner Colm Toibin's Testament of Mary, which depicts the Virgin as a depressed, isolated, and bitter older woman resenting her son's disciples.   I love school.  And I'm really excited to become a "real" chaplain.  Somebody needs to be there at hospice for people who aren't mainstream Christians (the Catholics have hospice covered!)--who are members of other religions, no religions, a mixture, unchurched, spiritual but not religious, atheists.  And I think I'm that somebody to offer solace and comfort (but not answers.)
  • In preparation for our Thailand trip, I'm reading a book on the Buddha which answers a question I've often wondered:  why is there no single Buddhists sacred text the way there is the Bible or Koran?  Apparently, stories of Buddha were preserved orally and only written down later (hundreds of years later), but by competing sects who slightly altered the narrative, so that they don't really agree on a particular canon.  Add to that, even those manuscripts don't survive well--I think I read that the oldest extant Pali canon manuscript is only a few hundred years old.  Nothing like Dead Sea Scrolls.  And Buddhists don't quite see the texts as "in the beginning was the Word;" textual exegesis just isn't as central to the religion.  
  • I watched the funeral of Bush 41 yesterday.  Solemn rituals and big, dramatic occasions always get to me, even if I wasn't quite mourning the late president.  The eulogies were informative--and entertaining in the way they lectured  #45 on character and charity and bi-partisanship.  I slightly remember Bush 41--I paid much less attention to politics then, but it was also less emotional, polarized, us vs them, angry.  I remember first getting riled about politics when Republicans kept trashing and attacking the Clintons, though if I think hard on it, I remember people not liking Reagan (though, much of that grew up afterwards.)  It's been downhill, civility-wise, since then.  Though I think it has also gotten dirtier--just look at Wisconsin GOP stripping the governor's office of power now that a Dem has defeated Republican governor Scott Walker--they didn't feel like he needed his power stripped when he was in office!  It's just ugly and there are few political remedies.  
  • Tulip stitch
    Even in the midst of all that, I have had time for my favorite hobbies.  I've crocheted blankets for a friend and a local fun-run raffle, even learning a new stitch, the tulip stitch.  I've been tangling as part of several online challenges, including Gratitangles 2018 and now 12 Days of Zentangle.  I love my meditative drawing practice.  I've also been reading more and have a book for downstairs, a book for upstairs before bed, and a book for the bathtub.  I've recently read a mystery featuring Fidelma, Irish nun-detective in 7th-century Ireland; the fifth and sixth Outlander books; a page or two of The Case for God, which is slow reading; the Buddha biography by the same author; and others I can't quite recall.  
  • We've also been watching a lot of tv, with two sick kids.  They are working their way through a dozen or more seasons of Supernatural.  We enjoyed British comedian Sue Perkins's exploration of the Mekong River and especially love her on the Great British Bake Off (I think we are currently watching the newly-released season 3.)  Sis has started Outlander, though without the abusive sex parts.  Bud has a few animated series he's following, including Hilda-something.  I caught up with Grantchester, the Arrow, and can't wait to watch the second season of Mrs. Maisel.  We only have one tv plugged in right now and also use it for video games--they are all playing the new Pokemon game.
  • I will delve into this at a later time:  I found proof that my ancestors on two branches of my family tree owned slaves. I have two partial names and the reference to four others. I always suspected as much, with many family members serving in the Confederacy and relatives having been in the south a century or more before the war, but learning it for fact has me overwhelmed and sad. I'm not quite sure what to do with this knowledge now....but I will do something. And acknowledging it has to be the first step.  I've joined a FB group, Coming to the Table, which connects descendants of both slave owners and enslaved peoples.  It's been informative, especially the resources page about reparations, financial and otherwise.  
  • Sadness:  on our drive to the doctor's office on Tuesday, I hit an owl which flew up in front of my car. I never saw it coming, though I was going the speed limit; we just felt the thump and then I saw the round-faced, speckle-winged bird above my left headlight, flapping backwards. We pulled over but couldn't find it.  So it didn't die right there but somehow managed to leave.  My friends think this is a good sign; I'm a bit more pessimistic.  What chance does a bird, even a big one, have against a car?  Why did it have to be a beautiful bird of prey? I'm so sad.  (And no, I'm not ready to debate why it's sadder that something I like and is beautiful died vs. something ugly or not liked, like a snake. I know it's subjective and hypocritical.)
  • Illusionists:  On Saturday, leaving Sis at home with what we then thought was the flu, we went to see a magic show on Broadway for Bud's Christmas present.  What a great show!  We especially liked the card tricks of Shin Lim, the mind-reading of Colin Cloud, and the sleight-of-hand of Darcy Oake.  In fact, Bud and I were both picked for separate tricks.  Colin Cloud read my mind!  He had me flip through a book and choose the top word on the left-hand page and remember it; he asked the same of two other audience members.  And then he "read" the word from my mind, "professional."  It really was astounding; and while I know there's a trick, I don't know what it is.  During his turn (we were seated very close to the stage in the second row), Bud was given an empty bottle in a box-inside-a-box to hold and then he chose a card out of a deck; later, of course, the card was in a corked glass bottle in the box-inside-a-box!  Now, the main "tell" that this was sleight of hand is that Oake did the same trick on Penn and Teller using the SAME CARD (5 of hearts) that Bud "chose."  I'm guessing it's a force of some kind but honestly neither Bud nor I saw it.  After the show and lunch at a nearby ramen place (Zen Ramen, not Sapporo because that dear old place has closed, forced out by raised rents), we went to Tannen's, the premiere NYC magic shop down by Macy's.  Bud had a great time conversing with the different magicians and seeing some of their tricks.  He bought a trick, a book, a beautiful Momento Mori deck, and a special card trick mat.  
  • Thanksgiving:  did I mention Thanksgiving at all? We watched the parade in our jammies that morning, particularly liking that there were two female hosts (bye, Matt Lauer!!!)  And we liked the performance by the Prom cast, complete with kissing lesbian leads (it's about a girl who can't take her girlfriend to the prom so she enlists help!)  We bought tickets on the spot, to support the show and NBC for fairing the no-doubt controversial scene.  In the afternoon, we had Mama Teacher and her son over for muffalettas, snacks, conversation, and video games, since they were celebrating on a different day, just like we were. We all played MarioKart--and had a great time.  (Sis actually came down with a fever on that Thursday night but the clinic said on Friday that it was NOT the flu.  Harrumphf.)  We went to Goo's on Saturday, because he had been working at the hospital the other days.  I made Chex mix, the sweet potatoes, the green bean casserole, the cranberry-horseradish relish, and a lemon pie.  Goo did everything else, including a lovely charcuterie.  And Mama and her parents spent the day arranging and rearranging post-its in order to organize our trip.  In the evening after dinner, the kids and Goo played video games, including this fast one where you drum to the rhythm prescribed by the game, while making little characters dance to the music.  Very Japanese.
  • BTS--Bud and I are still very much enamored of Kpop band BTS.  He practices their dance moves and I enjoy listening to the music in the car.  And we watch videos together sometimes.  When we were in NYC, for the magic show, we even went to the Line store, which sells BT21, a line of animated characters drawn by the members of BTS.  Bud got a few items, like J-Hope's horse character pillow and a key chain, and I even got a Koya (Koala, by RM) headband.  Yes, it's a cult.
  • Reiki--and no, I didn't think of Reiki next because it is a cult (ahem)--I had my second Reiki  on Sunday, with the same teacher and students as last time.  This section added some words and hand signs, which really did make it seem more like an occult thing than the hands-on meditation did.  But there was also more references to Buddhism--"the light in me sees the light in you," connecting to your higher Self or buddhahood, and forget what else.  The next session has crystals and angels, but I think I'll stop here; crystals and angels and the Reiki grid which can create continuous Reiki without your participation just takes it all a few steps too far for me.  Hands on meditation that contributes to relaxation and peace, I can handle (though, true practitioners would see it more as aligning the chakra energy wheels than simple meditation.)  And I'm looking forward to using it with hospice patients, as just another modality for care and comfort.  I did try it on the kids when they were sick (mainly because they didn't want me to tell my teacher that they had said no!) and both were relaxed afterwards, as you would be lying still with your mom's hand on your head or shoulders or chest.  I did it on myself a few days later, when my neck was stiff from too much driving, and it did release the tension, just like mindfulness meditation releases tension in my mind.  It's all from the same place, I think.  
  • In fact, I'll be going back to my PT soon to have her use her own therapy techniques (a unique combo of Western medicine and less scientific treatments) on the almost softball-sized scar tissue that has grown up in my lower abdomen and pelvic region from all the scars.  After consulting both my GI doctor and GYN and going through their tests, as well as talking at length with my caring and supportive GP, I decided that surgery isn't the answer for scar tissue which is pulling and pushing and causing regular discomfort; it'll just make more scar tissue.  I'm trying PT to try to break down some of the adhesions and meditation (particularly self-compassion from Kristin Neff) to assist my anxiety about the discomfort when it arises.  I hope it helps.
Whew, I think that's it for now.  I've blown through 30% of my laptop battery and a full hour of quiet between Mama's departure for work, Bud's departure for school, and now Sis's late arising.  Time to get up and get to the rest of my list . . . . 

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Improvement

Sis had no fever today!

She's still quite tired and only just began to regain her appetite.  But she did rally in order to bake biscuits all by herself this morning and then some cookies this evening.  See, she discovered the "Kids' Baking Championship" and watched it through this weekend.  Apparently, they made Oatmeal Lace Cookies and so she wanted to try her hand at it; I found a recipe on Martha Stewart, knowing her recipes to be fairly reliable.  Oh, they're so good.  they aren't as pretty as the ones on the website, but we'll eat them all so quickly that it won't matter!  I'm not sure Mama and Bud will get any by the time they get back Monday night!

They are having quite the time on the Jersey shore--they've played putt-putt at five different mini-golf courses and eaten seafood all over.  Bud even had ice cream for breakfast!  Today they climbed a 217-step lighthouse.   Tomorrow is the big kung fu competition.  I'll keep tabs on it via text.  We wish Bud well and hope he enjoys himself and his teammates.

Tomorrow, Sis and I will continue much as we did today.  We've watched a lot of television, in addition to the kids' baking show--"Flash," "Arrow," "Cupcake Wars," plus Ant Man and The Princess Bride.  Tonight, I let Sis channel surf, which was a novel experience for her--we almost always watch Netflix or Amazon--and she enjoyed it.

She chose "American Ninja Warrior Las Vegas!!!"  She loved the parkour/rock-climbing-inspired tests of strength and agility.  And seeing the first woman to conquer the "spider walk" (the course is made for taller male bodies, closer to 5'10" and so women haven't ever passed that test.)  In fact, we're taping six more hours of the competition overnight.  She always was "danger baby"--and she is taking rock climbing camp this summer.

While I was watching all of the above, I did some tangling.

This is the design for a square on a friend's baby quilt.

Tangle play.

I made this for Sis.  I'm rather proud of the bunny.

Sis is asleep now and I'm watching Julian Fellowes's new "Doctor Thorne" on Amazon, based on Trollope's novel (he was one of my paternal grandmother's favorite authors.)  Tomorrow, I'm sure we'll do much of the same.  I've got some dough rising for Sourdough No-Knead Bread.  And there's more "Flash" and "Arrow."  And who knows what else the day will hold.


-=-=-=-=-=-
Oatmeal Lace Cookies


  • 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter
  • 3 cups uncooked rolled oats (do not use instant)
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 3/4 cups sugar
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 2 eggs, lightly beaten
  1. Heat oven to 325 degrees. Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper. 
  2. In a large saucepan over low heat, melt the butter. Let cool a bit and add all remaining ingredients except the eggs. Stir well to combine, then add the eggs. Mix thoroughly. 
  3. Place 1 1/2 tablespoons of batter at a time on the parchment, leaving at least 3 inches between cookies. Flatten batter into a circle with the back of a spoon. Bake for 13 to 15 minutes, or until just golden brown. Cool on wire racks.


    -=-=-=-=-=-=-


    Sourdough No-Knead Bread
    • 3 ½ cups/425 grams bread flour
    • 1 teaspoon/6 grams kosher salt
    • ¾ cup/180 grams sourdough starter, “fed”
    • 2 tablespoons/9 grams sesame seeds

    1. In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour and salt.
    2. In a small mixing bowl, stir together 300 grams (about 1 1/4 cups) lukewarm tap water with the sourdough starter, then pour the mixture into the bowl with the flour mixture. Mix until just combined. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and a tea towel and leave it to rise overnight, about 10 to 24 hours.
    3. The next day, dust a clean kitchen surface with flour. Scoop out the dough and place it on the surface, then dust with more flour. Gently fold the edges of the dough from the outside in, to form a round loaf. Dust a clean towel with yet more flour and place the dough on it, the seam side down, then cover and allow to double in size, about 2 hours.
    4. Meanwhile, heat oven to between 450 and 550 degrees. Place a covered enamel Dutch oven or heavy pot with a lid into the oven and allow it to heat for 30 minutes or so. Remove the pot from the oven, take off its top, and carefully invert the risen dough into it, so that the seam side is now facing up. Sprinkle with the sesame seeds, then put the top back on the pot and return it to the oven.
    5. Bake for about 25 to 30 minutes, then take the top off the pot and allow it to continue to cook until it is brown and crusty all over, an additional 20 minutes or so. Put the loaf on a rack to cool for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Monday, April 20, 2015

How To Get Through Abdominal Surgery

A friend recently posted that she has to have laparoscopic abdominal surgery this summer and asked for advice.  I realized we've had some experience with this, from my c-section, to Mama's hysterectomy and complications, and then to my emergency small bowel obstruction and re-section.  Smaller than those procedures, we've also had a few D&Cs and two abdominal hernia repairs.  So, we've had some experience.  Which I thought I'd impart here.  But I will write that in no way does this post constitute medical advice.  You should listen to your doctor.

Beforehand (*if you know, of course!)
  • Sleeping Arrangements:  Figure out where you're going to sleep in the days after surgery.  Stairs can be a challenge; couches might not allow real rest.  I have found it easier and better, for me, to climb to my bed and stay on the second floor for a few days.
  • Ativan:  if you are at all prone to nerves, ask for a prescription for Ativan or the like for the night before and drive to the hospital.  It just dulls some of the often considerable anxiety.
  • Groceries:  Depending on doctor's orders, you might have a special diet.  We always have easy snacks on hand because sometimes your appetite is small and it's easier to eat lots of little things.  Crackers, granola, bananas, peanut butter, white bread for toast.  I also like to have my favorites on hand to tempt me--I like Cream of Wheat when I don't feel well.  And eggs over rice with soy sauce.  And marmalade on toast.  Also, drinks.  I like iced tea, homemade or other, also coconut water.  Kefir and yogurt are also good for the probiotics.  We keep some of these in the bedroom, especially the high-protein ones, to go with medication or late-night snack needs.  See Eileen Behan, Cooking Well for the Unwell, for recipes and ideas about nutrition--protein seems to be very important to healing.
  • Prescriptions:  Some doctors give you your pain meds Rx beforehand so no one has to rush out to fill it right after surgery.  Ours never did.  It would have been helpful, though.
  • Medical supplies:  
    • Because you'll do wound care at home, it's good to have supplies of gauze, paper tape, bandages, whatever, plus an antibiotic cream, if suggested.  Follow your doctor's orders for how to take are of it (mine wants me to use baby soap to shower!)  
    • If the surgery is gynecological in nature, you might need extra-absorbent pads.  The ones from the hospital are super bulky and don't stick well.  Have a supply of your favorite brand at the ready.
    • The hospital will give you a surgical binder; if not, Amazon sells them.  It helps to have two, for washing.  
    • You'll want pillows:  to hold onto when you sit or sleep, to give pressure, especially if you cough or sneeze (oh, awful.)  Also protects you from overly excited pets and little people.   A small stuffed animal would work as well--and be cuter!  (Like the lop-eared bunny ISMITE that my family brought.)
    • From my back injury, I love my little bed rail, which helps me turn over at night and get up in the morning.  Probably not necessary for a single surgery, depending.  But I LOVE mine.   
    • I also have a temporary suction handrail in the shower, which helps me stay balanced and get in and out.  You can get these at Bed, Bath & Beyond.  It's more for peace of mind.  And again, with my back injury, my healing was long and slow and these things were necessary.  Now that we have them in the house, I find they are doubly helpful post-surgery.  I'm not sure I would have bought them just for surgery.  Well, maybe the shower rail.  
  • Clothing:  Check your wardrobe for loose, baggy clothes that won't bind in the days and weeks afterwards.  I wear yoga pants and men's pajama bottoms with ties that can be tightened or loosened.  I also wear layers because my sense of temperature changes.  I also like having pockets.  Wear what is most comfortable to you.  
  • "Phone Tree":  Choose someone to be your point of contact to get the word out to loved ones when you're ok.  Cell phones and FB/email really speed this along.
  • Other helpful ideas:  
    • a tray table:  for eating on the couch or in bed; also very useful to protect your abdomen from pets while you're lying in bed.  The cats so love to sleep on Mama that she slept under the tray table for weeks to keep them from jumping on her tummy.  
    • a box or basket:  we both were always losing the telephone, cell phone, tv remotes, pens, etc in the bedcovers.  A little basket or box helped us keep track of things.
    • drinking cup with straw:  it helps to have a spill-proof cup with a straw, especially when you're still in bed.


What to Expect in the Hospital
Depending on the doctor and hospital procedures, your experience might be very different.  Of course, do what your doctor and hospital staff say.  In planned surgeries, there is usually a pre-admission appointment, with blood tests, maybe heart checks.  Often, you're assigned a day but not a time; you often get the time the day or two before . . . and even then there will almost always be delays.  You go, check in, and eventually they take you back.  Sometimes your partner can go with you; sometimes they have the partner wait until you are enrobed and on your gurney.  In the ER, Mama and I were only separated during my x-rays and my CT-scan.  There is always a lot of waiting and time moves so oddly in the hospital.  Eventually, they'll start an IV and then you're off.  For my recent surgery, I was unconscious before the gurney left my room to go down the hall (or at least that's how I remember it; Mama says I'm missing parts of my timeline.)  And then at some point, you'll wake up in recovery.  Often they don't have your partner with you until after you wake up.  I think I woke up and fell back asleep a few times in recovery--I don't even remember being transferred to my room.  But eventually you'll be transferred to your room.

Depending, you'll be on a catheter for a day or so, with an IV.  I wasn't allowed anything by mouth, but Mama was allowed liquids almost right away.  Liquids includes jello, broth, juice, etc.  You'll then progress to regular food.  Best. Meals. Ever.  Order whatever you like from the menu.  I always seem to crave the roast turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans or corn, and a roll, with chocolate pudding or rice or tapioca, and hot tea and gingerale.  That's two hospital stays now . . . but then, it's hard to mess that up.  Mama herself had a dozen or so meals of baked potatoes!!

They'll wake you up in the night to check blood pressure and temperature.  This is when people complain about not getting any rest at the hospital.  I didn't mind the visits, maybe because I always fell back asleep.

TV in the hospital is an odd thing.  I kept it on all the time, day and night, as did Mama (though, not when we had the babies.)  It is distracting background noise so you can't hear other people and all the beeping machines.  It's company when you're alone.  It keeps your mind off pain and worry.  I think it even helped me keep track of time--I could mark that an hour had gone by.  I always seem to watch the stupidest stuff that I'd never watch at home (and I definitely can't watch cooking shows in the hospital.)  Mama watched "Deadliest Catch," "World's Most Dangerous Roads," "Ice Road Truckers," something about Arctic gold, pawn shop stars, was there storage locker wars?  I watched "Ancient Aliens," "Swamp People," and others.  And there's always the Weather Channel!

I was shocked at how quickly they got Mama up and about after her robotic hysterectomy--that night, even (but only once the catheter is out.) Anyway, don't be surprised if they are constantly encouraging you to get up and walk, sit in the chair, even shower, pretty soon afterwards.  And the walking, while slow and painful at first, even with the binder, is so important, especially to getting your bowels working again and also to help break up gas pain, which can be very uncomfortable.  You'll need to either pass gas or have a bowel movement for them to discharge you--apparently, the colon is the last part of the body to wake up, so it's function proves that you are healing relatively normally.  No doubt they'll be giving you a stool softener and fiber in the hospital, with instructions for more at home.  Suffice it to say, the first few bowel movements are difficult, regardless.  But you'll get through them.

A note about nurses:  BE NICE.  I'm always confused about the hierarchy (tech, RN, APN, nurse manager, charge nurse, and others) of nursing staff in hospitals and the shift changes, even who is in charge of me; it's all made harder by narcotics!  Recently, our hospital has put up these great white boards where your tech and nurse sign in so you know their names.  Use their names.  They are people, taking care of you at one of your darker hours; they have to stick you and wake you up, even stick an NG tube down your throat, not because they want to but because you need it and it's their job to do it.  They have amazing resources--compassion and knowledge--that most will willingly demonstrate.  But if you are mean, rude, or even indifferent--trust me, because I see it weekly in nursing homes--your care will be less . . . careful.  I don't accuse nurses of hurting or punishing people who aren't nice--they're professionals after all--just that, well, trust me, you'll feel better if you're nice.

While they'll have so much of what you need at the hospital, including toothbrush and paste, soap, shampoo, and towels, you might be more comfortable with some of your own things.  When Mama was in surgery, I had her overnight bag in the car and I fetched it before I could go see her, after she was in recovery.  When I had surgery, she rushed home in the wee hours of the morning to throw some things in a bag, though I didn't need them until much later.  Some things we liked to have:
  • robe, for walking the corridors in comfort
  • slippers or shoes, also for walking the corridors.  Slip-on Merrills were great--supportive and non-slip, also easy to get on without bending over.
  • extra pillow (see above) for coughing and support, etc.  
  • cellphone and charger (longer cords that reach the bed are great, at hospital or at home!)
  • a set of clothes to wear home, plus extra underwear and socks
  • deodorant--there are always your own bodily smells in hospitals (earthy, sick, unfamiliar, distressing smells) and I like to lessen some of it
  • hand lotion and lip cream--it can get so dry in hospitals and I like the scents of my own products sometimes (funny, I didn't need my own soap and shampoo, though.)
  • if you have long hair, consider a scrunchy or hair band to hold it back.  

Miscellaneous
  • Mama was wonderful to bring me pens and notecards so that the kids had something to do while they visited.  Then we decorated my wall with them.  Goo also brought me a notebook to write in when I couldn't comfortable talk with the NG tube in.
  • I usually leave behind whatever flowers I receive with reception on my ward, a small thank you.  The kids also brought a big plate of Italian cookies as a thank you to the staff (I think I brought cookies to Mama's ward, too.)  And we had filled out numerous positive comment cards.  
  • There is just no predicting when doctors make rounds, though it can be really early.  I missed them on many of Mama's days and vice versa.  But they often answered our pages quickly, when we had questions.  It's amazing what the staff can do with email these days.  


Afterwards at Home
  • Discharge instructions:  Discharge always takes longer than you think it will, to get the doctor's sign off that you can leave and then have the right person come and give you instructions.  I was surprised that I could walk out of the hospital if I wanted to, but since it was a long walk, I opted for the wheelchair.  It reminded me of being wheeled out with the twins--I told them how two people handed me money for them ($20 and $50, I think it was) and wished us luck.  Mama took down my bag and fetched the car, while the kids walked beside me in the wheelchair (which they thought was odd.)
  • Walking (or that uncomfortable discussion of bowels!):  If you're home, your bowels have returned somewhat to normal.  But it doesn't really feel normal, especially after bowel surgery.  I'm sticking to a bland diet, no raw stuff (to avoid food poisoning and excess gas, which is awful), no gassy stuff even well cooked (cabbage, broccoli, beans), no oily or fried things which also cause gas, and food only from people or places I trust--I can't even bear the thought of food poisoning.   I have also found that several small meals are better than three regular ones, if only because a full stomach presses in odd places.  I also try to have yogurt or probiotics everyday, to repopulate my gut well.  But when I chose poorly or ate too much and didn't feel well, walking was my lifesaver.  Walk, walk, walk.  It moves things along, keeps me from being too sedentary, keeps a few muscles going, gets me outside in the sunshine, even helps me be social with neighbors.  Walking has been really really helpful.  Yes, I started slowly--just around my room, then once around the hall, until I could do 3-4 circuits of our ward.  Now I do 15-30 minutes up and down the driveway or sidewalk near the house (so I don't get too far from home) at least three to five times a day.  Not fast--I call it my "surgical shuffle"--just one foot in front of the other (I always carry my cellphone in my pocket, outside or even in the house, just in case . . . . )  I didn't do it enough after my c-section and Mama didn't do it enough after her surgery, but oh, it is such a help.   Both the nurses on my ward and even my surgeon commented how well I was doing with walking. Not just for bowels, but for everything.  I would say it's my number one recovery advice.  
  • Reflux:  speaking of food, it's good to have some kind of treatment for indigestion, especially in the beginning where I'd be napping or lying down after eating, which contributes to reflux.  Now I try to sit up for an hour or so after eating and not eat too close to my afternoon nap or bedtime.  
  • Pain meds:  I'm a firm believer in pain meds, in staying on top of the pain.  I don't worry about addiction, but then that's never been one of my challenges (my addictions are digital and edible, separately of course.)  I've been told that if you really need the pain meds, you can't become addicted, but I don't know.  I find it's best to keep a list of the times I take pills; otherwise, day in and day out, I forget when and what I took (I also sometimes just email Mama so that we're both keeping track.)  In the beginning, I took them as often as I could.  Then, I got the heavy dosage of Percocet down and switched to something less powerful, Vicodin (which I didn't know was less potent than Perc.)  Right now I'm on one a day, midday, when I'm tired and achy, to get me through the evening hours with the family so I don't hibernate upstairs in pain.  When the Vicodin is too much, I'll move to Tramodol or Tylenol with codeine.  Interestingly, I don't always recognize that I am hurting; I do notice that I get grumpy or snippy or sad or anxious, and THEN I notice that I've been hurting.  I try to take the minimal number of painkillers I need to stay comfortable, but sometimes I figure incorrectly (take too few) and hurt anyway.  It takes a lot of awareness.  I find I move more and do more when I'm properly medicated so it really is a major part of my recovery.  (When I was under-medicated for my back pain, I didn't/couldn't move much at all and that was a disaster.)
  • Meditative Tools:  To supplement painkillers, utilize your own familiar, personal technique for relaxing, being mindful, etc., be it a "happy place," meditation, or the like.  I found Toni Bernhard's How to Be Sick to be the most helpful thing I've ever read regarding pain management and mindfulness.  (See also here.)  Counting my breaths, acknowledging that all things change, focusing on the present and not worrying about the future, have gotten me through so much pain and, I truly believe, actually lessened my experience of the pain because I've minimized the suffering.  (Pain being the physical sensations, suffering being the mental thoughts about pain.  But others explain it better than I do.)  When I am not mindful, my mind goes to my deepest fears and anxieties about loss, illness, and death.  It is best to stay in the present.  But it takes practice and you will have days where it is hard to stay present (I'm having one of those days today, hence posting on my blog!)
  • Meals and errands:  Some people find it very hard to ask for help.  I've gotten better at it over the years and realize how much it really does make a difference.  I cannot begin to tell you how helpful it is to have people bring meals.  We have been on the receiving end of meals now maybe six times, beginning with the birth of the babies, and it is amazing.  Not only is it physically nurturing, it is emotionally uplifting to be embraced and enveloped by generous friends.  Even if you get a lot of pasta!  Besides, pasta is versatile, easy to reheat, and almost everyone eats it.  I've organized meals for others several dozen times, first using clumsy old email lists and now beautifully streamlined with my favorite site, Food Tidings.  There are other sites, some that even do errands and such, but I like this one, probably mostly because of my familiarity with it over dozens of uses.  But I have already written about organizing meals.  Being on the receiving end just helps immensely.   
  • Distractions:  Books might be too heavy or require too much concentration, though the heft  problem can be fixed with an e-reader or magazines.  I had fun going to the store to choose magazines for Mama before her surgery--lots of different titles she would otherwise never have read--civil war history, photography, cats, British travel, etc.   I also opt for constant internet contact--I can lose myself in Facebook and Pinterest for hours--as well as television.  Nothing like bingeing on Netflix.
  • Visitors:  Long recoveries reveal some uncomfortable truths:  some people just are not comfortable with illness or injury.  I won't say I've lost a friend over my back injuries or surgery; I've just noticed which ones aren't bothered by it and which ones are.  I like to have visitors and am thrilled that I can sit downstairs and receive friends.  It helps when I can be honest with them, if I need to keep it short or need to lie down in the middle or run to the restroom.  I'm usually tired afterwards, but with spirits lifted, it is worth it.  Friends make getting better so much easier.
That's all I can think of now, but I will add to it as more comes to me.  If you face similar circumstances, I wish you the best of luck, with quick and gentle healing.  Get well soon!