Experiment Conclusions

I've been on FB for one year, having started when Mama had her surgery last August so that I could be in touch more easily and quickly with more friends and family.  It's been an intriguing year.

Here are some things I've learned:

• FB is a lot like sitting at the popular kids' table in junior high.  If you aren't on FB, you are missing out on social information that circulates there--who's sick, who broke an arm, who is on vacation, who is selling a piano--information that you otherwise might not get.  Or you'd get it too late.  Because everyone assumes you saw it on FB.  You also are kept abreast of current cultural memes and jokes--"Hey Girl," Grumpy Cat, those e-cards, anything by George Takkei. I have found I like to be in the loop.
• People post a lot of personal information.  I have, too. I realize, though, that there is no expectation of privacy and anything I post becomes public knowledge. Though, I kid myself that using the kiddos' initials and never tagging them in photos will protect them down the line.
• In many ways, people show their compassion and humanity--supporting cancer survivors, helping to look for lost puppies, sharing Autism updates--but I wonder if that's all we do?  If we are lulled into a false sense of having done something through posting or liking on FB, we really haven't contributed much--and yes, I very much indict myself there.  FB doesn't let us off the civic responsibility or social justice hook.   Does it really matter if you "like" those things, especially when I have read how often those aren't real cancer survivors or "beautiful kids" just ad companies trolling for likes so they can sell them to other companies?  Didn't you wonder why the source of the child with Down Syndrome was "Watch My Weight" or "Ads for Less?"  But my FB newsfeed is a beautiful, calm, loving place full of supportive people who care about the issues I care about--but how are we creating that IRL? (That's "in real life.")   I worry about the disconnect.
• While there are a lot of political posts, there is almost no real dialogue or conversation on issues. Except of course with the people who pretty much agree with you.  Or really don't, at which point they drive you batty (and vice versa, I'm sure.) What can you expect from a "like" or sound-bite format?  It is reassuring, though, to engage with and see the pet issues of my liberal friends online and shocking to find out which of my friends are not (there are even some Bush lovers in the mix!  GASP.  There are things I've learned on FB that I didn't want to know.)
• I wanted more give and take.  I'm often without adult company for long stretches of time, especially not that Mama works late several days a week.  I'm not a phone talker much of the time and few of my friends are emailers.  I don't text, finding it worse than FB for meaningful exchanges--it's like a digital answering machine that demands constant attention.  Anyway, I do like to exchange ideas based on current events and essays I'd read.  So I started posting my links to FB, like I sometimes do here (which is funny, in a sad way, because my best correspondents are here on this blog and not on FB!!)--like op-eds on Trayvon Martin or Russian anti-LGBT policies and the Olympics including Stephen Fry's call for a boycott or something on Roman forts uncovered in Wales because of drought or discrimination against people with mental illness by medical doctors--and no one engages.  Sometimes they don't even "like" it, or they post an agreement; rarely has it gone beyond that.  Granted, I don't always post it with my own take, probably should, right from the get-go.  I think I was looking for intellectual engagement; that was naive.   But it compounded my isolation because I'd put these things out there and not hear back--I even posted that I was unplugging FB for awhile and no one commented.  The opposite of sitting at the popular table, more like being a wallflower at the dance. 
• I spent an incredible amount of time on FB, looking for said interaction, liking things and posting on people's status updates, even looking for neat things to include on my own status update.  The interaction--the approval!--was there, sometimes, and really who doesn't like a lot of comments?  But the time-reward ratio was skewed.  And I realized that's a little desperate and lonely, even for FB.

My conclusions:

• I'm going to stay on FB.  I like to be in the loop locally and culturally and this is the dominant and socially-acceptable way to do it in real time.  
• I no longer like cancer survivors or beautiful children unless the source of the page is clearly "real" and not an ad company. 
• I'll probably do even fewer posts with pictures of the kids.
• I've taken FB off my phone so I can't aimlessly check updates and post things.  I can check my account 2-3 times a day when I'm on a "real" computer.  That's more than enough to satisfy the above.
• I will look for other paths to intellectual engagement and personal interactions and not the superficial quick-fix of FB.  I will try yet other ways to connect with people to discuss issues and events regularly.  Maybe even in person!  People still do that, right?  (Of course, the irony of posting this on a blog doesn't escape me.  Especially because my blog readers are the ones who email or call me up for coffee!!  Maybe the answer is staring me in the face.)

Childhood Memories

Lemon twist.
Sit 'N Spin.
Moppet's Secret Dollhouse.
Fisher Price Little People Castle, A-frame House, Town.
CandyLand, with the original board game.
Speak & Spell.
Simon Says game.
Waterful Ring Toss.
Great Greetings and Fashion Plates.

I've come across several toys and games from my childhood through Pinterest and the pinned blogs and websites (here, here, here, here, and here). It's been such a fun ride!

Red Rover.
Thumbs-Up, 7Up!
Folded notes.
Metal dome playground equipment.
Silly String.
Fortune Tellers.
Super Plastic Bubbles.
Weeble Wobbles.
Rub-a-Dub Dolly.

It's been such a wonderful trip down memory lane, but I couldn't find one thing:  a blue and pink plastic ice cream sundae toy that contained a miniature dollhouse.  I also had a miniature brown ice cream sandwich, also with a dollhouse inside.  But I couldn't remember the name and couldn't find them online.  I kept looking, finding many other things.

Tinkerbell makeup.
Jellies shoes.
Twisty bead necklaces.
Woven barrettes.
Banana clips.
Prairie shirts.
Yarn hair ribbons.

And so I told Mama, who had heard me talk of these toys before.  And so she started looking.

Plastic Halloween costumes with masks that came in paper boxes.
"Popcorn" Rudolph decorations.
Plastic-net Christmas stockings.
Woodsy the Owl.
Smokey the Bear.

 I didn't have much hope.  I should have, though, because years ago she found one of my favorite childhood book series, the Meg Mysteries, and even bought me a few; this in the days before Amazon and such. She's just more creative and thorough with her Boolean logic, I guess.  But I was still surprised this morning when she reached over and showed me this:

She found them!!!!  Mattel Liddle Kiddle, also marketed in the 1970s as Sweet Treats.  I had forgotten the rainbow-colored hair of the dolls.  We don't need to buy them, even though mine are long gone.  It was just nice to see them again and remember all the fun I had with these toys and all the others.

The Daily Unplug

On Sunday, our minister spoke about time and specifically the practice of Orthodox Jews to step out of the hectic chaos of daily life--to step out of regular time--to embrace the peace of their sabbath.  We can't do that, she noted, as 21st-century UUs (because it takes a village, or community, to commit to such an extensive observance and we tend to be more flexible and diverse than that), but we can try to adapt some of the ideas to our own practices.  We do already save an hour for Sunday worship--why not add a walk?  Or agree not to talk "shop" (committees, meetings, work) during fellowship?  And how about the rest of the week--could we unplug some, to step out of the rush of time crunches and embrace what is really important in our lives?

Unplug.  There's that word again. It keeps coming at me.  I already have an "unplugged basket" to drop my smartphone in when the family is home.  But I haven't been that good at relinquishing the 'droid.  So I'm trying again because, as our minister said, it's good to have aspirations.  I'm going to put my smartphone in the unplugged basket--now a wooden heart I bought at church that was made by a Haitian artist--every weekday from the bus arrival to bedtime, essentially three and a half hours from 4-7:30.  It's not too long, considering I'm fully plugged in from 8 am to 4 pm.  And even if I have my own time while the kids do their thing, I'm not going to blog or email; I'll read or cook or make something.  But what's important is to be present, available, not distracted by the computer/phone which is a kind of digital sedative when I'm restless or don't know what to do with myself.  We'll see what comes of it.

I'm Gonna be SuperBetter!

I've been invited to join SuperBetter, the social network focused on healing that was featured on NPR.  It's in Beta, so I'm excited to get to explore and experiment with it now.  And it's great!  I have a secret identity (it's a secret!) and have been building my secret headquarters, complete with quests, missions, my epic win, power-ups, and bad guys.  Thank goodness Mama Hungry knows all this game lingo!  I've even started adding a few allies (but some of the invitations are getting stuck in the ether).  They get secret identities too!  (I'm not too organized, like all Harry Potter or Star Wars.  I'm just doing inspiring and inspired women, real or imagined.)  There's a secret lab with science cards containing real research on the psychology of healing and also Power Packs you can download with tools for fighting stress or losing weight.  I'm loving it and have completed some things, like walking 30 minutes straight on my treadmill and talking to friends, all of which increase my resilience score.  And it's only the first full day!

Getting SuperBetter

A friend alerted me to a segment she heard on NPR this weekend about a game to help people recover from illness or injury.  Designed by a gamer, Jane McGonigal, who suffered a traumatic brain injury, SuperBetter is an online social network of people with secret aliases, allies, headquarters, missions, and wins whose goal is to improve their health.  You can hear about it here or visit the website here.  It's based on the premise that positive thinking and achievement of small goals can aid healing and health.  And it's apparently fun, too!

It's not open to the public yet, but I've signed up for when it is.  I'm really excited.  If you have a health goal you're working towards, check it out.