Hope

I haven't known what to write about the rash of suicides of gay youth, most notably that of the student at Rutgers. It saddens me, though it does not surprise me. Despite huge strides in GLBT acceptance, or probably because of them, there is also vocal and vehement oppositions to GLBT people. It is often difficult even as a secure, confident adult lesbian with a loving partner and supportive family living in a GLBT-friendly state with actual marriage and adoption rights to withstand and turn the tide on the torrents of hatred that frequently swirl around the greater society. Teens, who are only just forming their identities, especially those living in less-friendly locales, are vulnerable, overwhelmed, scared, even hopeless. Dan Savage, Ellen Degeneres, and other celebrities seek to reassure these kids that life can and does get better. And it does.

I grew up not far from Cypresswood, TX, where a 13 year-old gay boy killed himself recently. When I was a teen there, just the rumors of gay and lesbianism, whispered with sly glances in the hallways, were enough to ostracize classmates. My best friend, a lesbian, about whom much was said, found refuge in the girls' basketball and softball teams, with other lesbians, including the coaches. And I, who was not so much a questioning youth, as the saying goes, but a clueless one (with more girl crushes than I can count, only two platonic "boyfriends," and a kiss with that best friend!), more interested in schoolwork than in boys or girls, avoided trouble in that very asexuality, which took years to shed. I was one of the very lucky ones.

But there is hope. And I saw it down the street yesterday. The niece of a neighbor, a teenaged girl who had realized early that she was a lesbian, now out and proud and happy and embraced by all around her. She's our future. The little kids playing around and with her, and knowing me and Mama, accepting us all as little kids do, whether they become gay or straight, are our future. And so GLBT adults, and perhaps even those lucky teens with family and friendly support, and those who love us, must continue to model acceptance and to resist those who so loudly say otherwise so that those without hope will know that they are accepted too.