Failure and Success

Ok, I wrote this on Wednesday, but instead of changing all the time references, I'm just posting it as is.  (I've been having some second thoughts about eating meat, but that's another post.)


Yesterday, I went to make a new post-vegetarian chicken recipe (see, I'm having this weird chicken craving that really induced the post-vegetarianism, except I've been having moral pangs, or are they ethical pangs) and, as I pulled all the chicken out of the fridge, I realized that it needed to marinate overnight.  Ugh.

So, not wanting to freeze the chicken, I prepped the overnight dish, a honey soy ginger chicken dish, AND made the other new post-vegetarian chicken recipe, a Chicken Divan casserole, for dinner.  And it was kinda complicated

And one of the kiddos didn't like it at all.  She likes rice.  She likes cheese.  She likes chicken.  She likes broccoli.  And she likes Panko breadcrumbs.  But not altogether.

Sigh.

Bud liked it so much that he even took it to lunch today.

Tonight's dinner, on the other hand, was a roaring success!  They both loved the marinated soy honey ginger chicken (though, I confess to only mentioning the honey and soy.)  LOVED it.



-=-=-=-=-=-

Honey-Soy Sauce-Ginger Chicken Marinade
1 cup honey
3/4 cup soy sauce
3 tablespoons freshly grated ginger
8 cloves garlic, minced
bunch of scallions, finely chopped

Combine ingredients and pour over about 2 lbs chicken pieces (I used boneless breasts and thighs.)  Marinate in refrigerator overnight.  Bake COVERED at 350F for 30 minutes, then uncover and bake for 30 or 40 minutes at 375F.

The Mom 100 Cookbook

Peace. Hope. Love.

I went to the birthday party of my almost 90-year-old hospice patient yesterday.  It was my idea to hold a party early in celebration of his life so that his family could gather to honor and support him; he had been feeling less well and more in need of his family in the last week or so, asking for them to come.  

And so they did, several grandchildren and children, and a few members of the hospice team, gathered in his room, laughing and sharing wonderful memories through tears.  We even sang and had cake, because that's what we do for birthdays, even if everyone was a little choked up to sing and eat.  And our inspiring hospice chaplain led everyone in a prayer to acknowledge and thank the patient for what he had been to them.

It really is the reason I got into hospice, to bring people together during the dying process.   So often, it doesn't happen as well as it did yesterday.  I hope it brought comfort to them all and eases my patient's exit.  

For me, it was a wonderful reminder to celebrate every chance I get.

Our Snow Day

The kids woke up super early at 6:20 a.m. and watched "Phineas and Ferb" while I slept, then

we made cinnamon toast in the broiler.

Afterwards, there was some piano practice,

and reading, followed by

LEGOS!

Yep, Magic Trunk produced a couple of LOTR Legos.

I crocheted and also tangled:

We had lunch, played outside a teensy bit in the snow, and played Just Dance (I got four stars for the "Macarena!!")  Bud loves it and is good; I mainly wave around the arm with the controller in it.

Then we watched Harry Potter 3.

Mama came home.

We cleaned the driveway and sidewalk and Sis played outside with neighbors.

Then we had baked chicken and rice and gravy dinner

and played Ticket to Ride.

We finished off the evening with two rousing Mario Kart prix.  I was Lukita, with a carousel horse kart and a flying squirrel canopy.  

And I didn't come in last!

A very good day.

Celebration

My hospice patient is hanging on.  I've said goodbye to him three times now--thanking him for our time together and wishing him peace--each time thinking I wouldn't see him again. He's uncomfortable and waiting to die.  But he's still there in the nursing home.  On Tuesday, I kept up some light conversation, said a few prayers (a metta meditation and the Lord's prayer), and sang several songs.  He really liked "Amazing Grace."  And Elvis's "Love Me Tender."

He has said he wants his children there "when the time comes," though he didn't want to bore them with waiting.  But he realizes now that it's time.  And he was asking for them again.  "Why aren't they here yet?"  So, knowing it is his (big) birthday next week, I suggested an early birthday party to bring everyone together and perhaps pass the milestone together early. I passed it on up the hospice team hierarchy and people liked the idea.  I thought they'd do it some evening this week, but perhaps with the snow . . . .

Anyway, it's on Sunday.  Some extra out-of-town/state family members are coming in for it, I think. And I've been invited!  I'll be glad to celebrate his life and birthday with his family and other hospice team members. Even if it means saying goodbye again.

-=-=-=-=-=

I just read a great article about being a hospice volunteer in the NYTimes by Ann Neumann; it sums up a lot of my own feelings:

I couldn’t change the fact that people were dying, but I could make their dying easier.

My job as a hospice volunteer is to reassure patients that there’s no right or wrong way to die. I’ve learned to be attentive and patient, to divine their last requests from their actions and concerns. No two patients are alike. Every last request is specific and unique. Fulfilling them feels like a small blessing — not just to these patients, but to me.

Again

Wintry Mix

Today:  first there was sun, now there are clouds.  And there could be snow--1-3" worth--beginning any minute.

Tomorrow:  The overnight snow will change to rain and sleet and ice, at some point highs will reach in the 40s.

Thursday:  by the time the afternoon comes, there will be more snow, maybe even 1-3 more inches.

So, that means maybe a delay AND an early dismissal tomorrow, or just a cancellation?  And then a delay or cancellation on Thursday.

Who knows.

But I have food and activities for all of us regardless.

Changes

I've made a decision:  I'm not a vegetarian anymore.

In truth, after almost exactly seven years, I haven't been a vegetarian for awhile now, nipping some chicken here, eating fish there.  But in my mind, I always reverted to vegetarianism.

But I've decided to give up the label and just focus on good food for all of us.

Which is to say, I'm not running out for a McDonald's burger or a hot dog.  In fact, I don't imagine I'll add that much meat to my diet.  And when I do, it will be pasture-raised, free-range, organic when possible, "happy" meat.  (And still no veal, or lamb, or rabbit.)

But I've been overwhelmed with trying to feed two totally different audiences:  me, the vegetarian, and everyone else, the omnivores.  In the end, I made a lot of mediocre meals that satisfied none of us fully.

And so, a new chapter.

We'll see how it goes.

Flip Side

For a few years now, I've noticed that sometimes I can hear and understand everything someone says to me, and sometimes I can't.  I've been to two ENTs about it--one said it was my advancing age, another said it was a vacuum caused by my little nose, teeth, and little ears.  Neither had any real suggestions.  And even with two hearing tests, neither said my hearing was anything but average.  Maybe not as good as it had been, but still regular.

Well, I finally did less than average on a hearing test!

Yay?

Average is to about 15 or so, and I'm closer to 25, if I understand the explanation correctly.

I went to a new ENT, recommended by a friend, last week.  He ran tests--audiology and x-ray.  And I have a bit of a hearing loss in each ear, more on the left, particularly in the high frequencies--all of which means I don't hear all consonants, especially if it's noisy or if the person's voice is higher.  It's not ear wax or build up, not sinuses or infections, not TMJ or jaw pain and inflammation.  Probably the very common sensorineural loss.

Yay?

And the only treatment is hearing aids.  Which can run expensive.  And aren't covered by insurance. So, they were asking me if it affected my life?  Well, several times a day I have to ask somebody to repeat something, usually Sis, who gets tired of it and says, "Never mind."  So yeah, it affects me.

Still, we're checking into some things.  Trying a nasal spray just in case it helps, though he didn't see fluid or pressure (my ear drum functions normally.)  And I'm practicing trying to always look right at people to hear them better.

But in the end, it'll probably be hearing aids.
Sis said, it's a good thing I'm taking sign language.

Ouch.

But I guess at least I heard her.

Coincidence

So, I saw The Vagina Monologues on Saturday with the monologue about different names for the vagina.

And on Sunday, apparently, during OWL class, the kids talked about different names for breasts, vagina, and penis.  And all the kids in class decided that was GROSS.  But at least they learned the appropriate names and also the ones they should never use.  Apparently, they came up with all the ones I could think of, and many more.

Can't decide if that scares or impresses me.

Whew!

What a wonderful, exhausting, frustrating, fun first 24 hours.

• Kids' Service Team event.  The kids' service team is a great combo of community building and helping others.  We shared pizza, salad, and brownies at church, and then the kids made fleece blankets and the adults tried their hands at knitting.  Sis and a few of her friends joined us and we practiced casting on and knitting . . . and fixing our mistakes.  I learned a few new techniques--the one needle cast-on, how to prevent curling edges in an all-knit piece by dropping the first stitch of each row, how to rework dropped stitches with a crochet hook (over-under, over-under), and how to pull stitches off a needle and put them back on (very carefully, making sure stitches are facing the right way)--with the help of one of the experts.  It was all fun.  But now I have a scarf to finish!  
• Ice skating!
• Kung fu!
• Cookie booth--oh, the stories I could tell.  And so I will.  Of course, the GS cookie booth troubles started a couple of weeks ago when the store that had agreed to host several troops selling cookies changed their minds and we all had to scramble for new times and places and reschedule everybody!  Then today, we our people showed up at a different store, they said we weren't supposed to be there, though we had registered and our contact was on her way to smooth it over.  Well, don't mess with Cookie Moms!  And so we stayed put.  Until we had to move--our shifts were split between two stores because of the aforementioned schedule change.  THEN, a GS mom stationed at the store we'd just been at came over and harassed us for being at our store, saying we were competing with them and ruining their sales and that wasn't supposed to happen (though, there had been another troop at the store all morning--the troop of an older sister of one of our girls.) It happens every year.  EVERY Year.  Novice.  Again, don't mess with Cookie Moms!  But all of our girls worked their shifts, even in the cold, and we sold 40 cases of cookies, which is excellent.  We are very proud of our troop and very grateful to all of our volunteers.
• The VAGINA Monologues:  Our old church sponsored a fundraiser reading of the Eve Ensler play this evening and I went with a bunch of friends, who first gathered for dinner together.  Veggie lasagna, salad, garlic bread, flourless chocolate cake, and almond cake.  Yum!  And the show, oh, the show was amazing.  I'm ashamed to admit, as both a feminist and a lesbian, that I had never seen it.  But this production was perfect because I knew 95% of the cast, from old church and around town, and there they were saying things like vagina, cum, cunt, orgasm, hair, coochie snorcher, folds, clit, lips, wet, etc etc outloud in public!  And talking about rapes in Kosovo, female genital mutilation, repression, and even dry cotton tampons and cold duck lip specula!  We laughed riotously--at the Angry Vagina and the dominatrix who curated moans of her female clients (and demonstrated several of them, like the WASP moan and the exhausted Zen moan!)--and sighed at the "cellar" and "tulip" and lack of self-awareness (and cheered at the painful, glorious discovery of such), and choked up at the memories of violence.  It really was a wonderful evening.  So proud of the cast of wonderful, talented women, and of the UU church community that brought them together to benefit a women's outreach center nearby.  Well-done!  (It was also great to see so many old church friends, whom I miss often.  Took me awhile to hug my way out the door.  Haven't felt that much love and support and energy in a space, like that, since lesbian coffeehouse in Chicago.)
• I got home to discover that my BIL had been called back to work a hospital shift tonight.  He was with the kiddos and his sis for about an hour.  They were very sorry to see him go and quite subdued when I got home.  We know he'll try again soon and we'll have a good time and besides . . . . . 
• It looks like the weather is turning ugly earlier tomorrow than we expected, with anywhere from 1-6" coming (depending on whom you believe) plus ice, and so it is probably best that he won't be on the road tomorrow night.
• And so we'll see what tomorrow brings weather-wise, along with church, Soup Sunday, and the arts and crafts party.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Solo Almond Bundt Cake

Almond Glaze Topping
1 cup confectioners sugar
1⁄4 teaspoon almond extract
2 tablespoon light cream

Cake
1 cup butter or margarine, softened
2 1⁄4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
2 teaspoon baking powder
3  eggs
1⁄2 teaspoon salt
1 can Solo Almond Cake and Pastry Filling or 1 jar of any other fruit filling
1⁄4 cup milk

Chocolate Glaze Topping (no chocolate on the one at church)
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 tablespoon Dutch-process cocoa
1⁄2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 tablespoon buttermilk or low-fat milk

Preheat oven to 350° F. Grease and flour 10-inch tube pan or 12-cup Bundt pan and set aside. Beat butter and granulated sugar in large bowl with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in almond filling until blended. Stir flour, baking powder, and salt until mixed. Add to almond mixture alternately with milk, beginning and ending with dry ingredients.  Beat until blended. Spread batter evenly in prepared pan.Bake 50 to 55 minutes or until cake tester inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan on wire rack 10 minutes. Remove from pan and cool completely on rack. To make glaze, combine ingredients in small bowl, and stir until blended and smooth. Spoon or drizzle over top of cake. Let stand until glaze is set. Or top with fresh fruit and whipped cream!

Flourless Chocolate Cake

TGIW?

I'm not sure this is the kind of weekend people look forward to when they need a rest, though it will be fun.  Besides the 5F degrees tomorrow, we have this weekend:

• a kids' service team event
• ice skating
• kung fu
• Girl Scout cookie booth
• dinner with friends and a play
• church
• an arts and crafts party
• and a visit from Goo.

Whew.

I am the Champion!

The kids have finally found a video game I actually don't mind playing:  Just Dance!

You hold the Wii U controller in your hand and follow the moves of the dancers on the screen as they dance to current popular songs.

Kinda like aerobics videos, but with better outfits and soundtracks.

And you don't feel like you're exercising.

It's fun.

We even get karaoke credit for singing along!

And I win, most of the time.

My secret?  Just worry about the hand with the controller, not all the fancy footwork--the computer can't see your feet, just the controller.

The only downside:  this is a game I will only play with my kids with no one but Mama watching.  Ever.

As Sis says, "It makes you feel a little bit self-conscious."

So only the kids will ever see my Nikki Minaj moves!

Our Great Big Cat Adventure

I will start this post with the end of the story:  we did NOT take in a fifth cat.

Okay, to begin with the beginning of the tail tale.

Sunday morning, when we were outside in the sunshine cleaning the snow off the driveway, our across-the-street neighbor came over.

"You know about cats, right?

The night before, in the cold and snow, a small, young, clean and healthy, tortoiseshell cat "knocked" on his kitchen window. Even though they are not pet people, he had brought the cat inside to his mud room, an enclosed unheated space, not unlike our enclosed porch--probably quite literally saving her life that very cold night.  And he wanted help finding the owner.

Sis gladly helped by taking the above photo of the cat, and with it, I contacted the local lost pet people and the local cat rescue club and I left a message for Animal Control.  And we kept in touch though there wasn't much news.

But the temperatures Monday night were going to be 4 below.  Which means the mudroom would be too cold for the cat.  My neighbor was ready to offload the cat; he'd absolutely done the right thing but was ready to be done all the same.  He'd run out of the cat food he'd bought (and so they'd fed it an egg!); I'm not sure he even had litter.  I think he had expected to find the owner when he knocked on doors Sunday afternoon.  "If we'd wanted a cat," he told me, "when would have already had a cat."

We didn't want to take in another cat, certainly not one who hadn't been tested for disease, but we didn't want it to suffer either.  So we arranged to board the cat at our vet very temporarily and to have it checked for a microchip and different diseases; our neighbor was relieved.

And then Animal Control called.  They couldn't take the cat in, it being healthy and uninjured and probably clearly owned by someone, but they could help find the owner.

And a bit later, the AC officer called back--someone a few miles from here was missing their cat, a recent rescue.  The owner called me and she came over to my neighbor's to see the cat, with her son, a boy a little older than the kiddos.

And it was their cat!  They were so happy to have her back.  And I was so glad, and also relieved that we didn't have to figure out how to take in yet another cat.

As a friend said, yesterday, we were heroes to a cat and her family.

And we hugged our four a little longer last night.

Cold, Cold, Cold

It was below zero again this morning, and cold despite the sunshine.  I think it'll be our last below zero day, but there are still several single-digit days on the way.  And one of them will be the day of our Girl Scout cookie booth!  Whose big idea was it to have outdoor cookie sales in New England in February and March??!!  Door to door sales in January were hard enough--almost every Saturday was bitter and drippy.

But we carry on.  Which is easy with the sun shining.

Good Morning!

So pretty....

Tea Time

I went to tea with a friend today--cute place, delicious tea, great fun catching up.  Really, tea with a friend is the perfect antidote to the winter's cold.

Thoughts and Prayers

Two separate friends have accompanied their in-laws to the hospital in the last day or so.  Our thoughts are with them both as their loved ones are diagnosed, treated, and hopefully recover soon.

Xing Jia Eu-Ei!

Happy Year of the Sheep, or Goat or even Ram/Ewe (see the NYTimes article on the difficulties of translating the Mandarin)!

But because of the death of Lao Gong, or great-grandfather, we are still in mourning, at least as far as wearing red and having a big party goes, as I understand.

Also, with Ma and Gong out of the country, we aren't obviously going to their house for a big meal and observance as usual.

In fact, we're not sure what we're doing.  The kiddos have been invited to their bus mate's house (her parents are from mainland China) to roll dumplings on Sunday.   Dumplings aren't part of our family's tradition, which is based in Guangdong (which capital is Canton), but it will be a fun activity.  We have lots of snack foods, which we picked in Flushing, but they don't make a meal  (though, they'll be good to send on Sunday to the little friend's house.)

Today, I went to a friend's annual Tet celebration, which is Vietnamese New Year.  She has held a potluck luncheon for several years, with everyone bringing what they can--some get take-out from Chinese or Vietnamese places, others attempt an Asian recipe, and still others just bring something else.  My friend puts out makings for noodle bowls, with rice noodles, lettuce, cilantro, cucumber, sweet and sour sauce, and deep fried egg rolls to cut up over everything.  So good!  (minus the cilantro, of course)  I took dried plums, red plum wafers, and almond cookies, all from Flushing, which Ma helped me choose.

My friend also had coconut sticky rice, which was much sweeter and creamier than Ma's version (I'm surprised to find I don't have her recipe; must get it), but still very good.  She served it with sliced persimmons (we serve it with mangoes.)

So, I give you my friend's version, in case you'd like to make your own little Sheep celebration, and wish you a happy, lucky, healthy, prosperous year.


-=-=-=-=-=-

Miss D's Coconut Sticky Rice

3 cups rice
3 cups unsweetened coconut milk
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt

Mix all ingredients and cook in rice cooker.

Serve with sliced fruit.  Yum!

D.S.

Last Things

Last notes on Gommie's visit, since I forgot to chronicle Mon-Wed:

• More yummy food:  my simple butter marinara, sourdough biscuits for breakfast, chicken and dumplings for lunch, quiche for dinner.  And Mama brought special restaurant desserts as a treat on our last night:  delicious fudge cake, caramel apple pie, molten lava cake, and blueberry lemon sponge.
• We started a puzzle together, a maritime Americana puzzle with 1000 pieces.  It was a real challenge (some of the pieces didn't so much connect as abut), but we didn't come close to finishing it.
• On Monday, after eating a great seafood lunch, we went birding.  First, we drove along the river and actually spotted a bald eagle!  We all saw it and weren't imaginging things.  We also saw some big hawks, perhaps Northern Harrier or Broad Shoulder.  Inspired by this, we stopped at several more places along the river and the shore, marveling at the ice build up and frozen waters.  We did look for a long while for a Snowy Owl and I did think I spotted one in the far distance, but I'm not counting that as a positive identification.  I'll just have to keep looking.  But it was a wonderful activity for us all.  And with Gommie present, the kids didn't complain as much about the cold.
• We watched Big Hero Six, including all the behind the scenes things.  Gommie really liked it (she doesn't always like animation or fantasy/sci fi), much more than she liked The Avengers!  
• There was more game playing--spit, solitaire, Rummikub, and Scrabble--and more tangling.

All in all, a great visit.

Three Strikes

It's not been the best kind of day.

Gommie left, which is always hard, even with a wonderful long visit.

And then, I got a call this morning that my hospice patient, whom I've seen since late October, which is a long time in the hospice universe, was in active heart failure and wouldn't last too long (more like days, than hours, though.)  So after dropping Gommie off at the train station, I headed to hospice.

Only on my way, I got a call that Mama was headed to NYC--a neighbor had noticed oddness from her parents' house only to find that a hot water pipe had broken in the first floor, damaging both the dining room and the basement (remember, her folks are in Thailand . . . for Mama's grandfather's death and funeral, including 7 days of ritual mourning and then cremation and more days of prayer.  And now it's Chinese New Year, which they can't fully celebrate because of the mourning, if I understand correctly.)  Only the sump pump kept it from being worse.  Thank heavens for the attentive neighbor! But the heat coupled with the water ruined their inlaid wood floor, which buckled.  There is condensation so thick in the house that all the ceilings are dripping and the windows opaque.  And there is a lot of damage to all of the tiles and insulation in the basement's drop ceiling.  So Mama has been there all day with plumbers and heating people.  She might or might not come home tonight, but only if the house is stabilized enough to be left for 24 hours, when Goo can next check on it.

So I went in and sat with my hospice patient for an hour, holding his hand and mostly sitting in silence.  He looks like my dad, but older--same complexion and facial skin and baldness, very similar profile as he lay in bed.   He's not uncomfortable and is receiving a lot of love and attention from the staff; he is very well liked (and the difference in care between liked patients and disliked is vast, unfortunately; I've seen it close up.)  When I left, I said goodbye and that I wished him well if I didn't see him again, that it had been a real pleasure sitting with him these months.  May he be comforted.  May he live with ease.  And die with ease.

So that's my day.  I'm definitely pretty frayed around the edges and PMS makes it worse.  At least there was a little sunshine.

Otherwise, I'm glad it will be tomorrow soon.