On the Up Side

Lots of good kinds of news:

• My aunt had surgery and is doing 100% better. I won't disturb you with the details, except to say the surgeon had said they risked her life to do the surgery (because of her potassium levels) but also risked her life if they did not do the surgery. And he was glad they did it. She was so much improved that I even spoke to her on the phone today.
• My mom is now down with my dad at the hospital. They'll be in the area at least through the weekend and, knowing Dad, beyond.
• My sore throat is decreasing. I'm wondering if I've had a lingering cold and not some rare food sensitivity tied to the NSAID allergy.

We're looking forward to a great 3-day weekend, though we have nothing specific planned. Just some good family time.

Faerie House Season Has Begun!

Our first village of faerie houses were built yesterday, mostly of huge shells from Ma and Gong's beach. The kids hid them in rose bushes and weeds all along our rock wall, decorating them with pink rose petals. It's all very sweet.

So, when the lawn guys came this morning, we rushed out to protect the dwellings as best we could. And then the guy with the weedwacker actually put it in our garden box and took out our new rhubarb plant! I got to him before he got rid of the horseradish, too. I hope the rhubarb survives. It's from our friend Miss M, whom we cherish and who has given us the horseradish and the tulips, too.

Maybe the faeries can help . . . .

This Morning

My aunt's surgery was postponed from yesterday because she wasn't strong enough. I don't know if it's happening this morning or not.

By the way, I know I've been up north too long when I pronounce aunt in my head as "ont!"

Sending Love

. . . all the way down to Corpus Christi, where my aunt is having surgery today to help with the infection. Let's hope it all goes well. Pop is down there by his sister's side and will stay in the area as long as he's needed.

Just like he (and Gommie) did last summer for me . . . .

Allergies R Me

I went to the allergist today, who confirmed that I won't be having anymore NSAIDs, which wasn't much of a surprise. He couldn't explain the birth control pill reaction and suggested I check with the OB/Gyn. He thought all my hives were from overactive skin reactions from the NSAIDs, which could last for the next 6 months. As for the sore throat and post-nasal drip, he wasn't sure. But he did a skin test of some 40 common allergens--wheat, milk, nuts, pollen, strawberries, etc etc--and I wasn't allergic to any of them.

So, half answers. I have an appointment with the ENT about my sore throat--at the end of July!!! (He's very popular). And I also found a naturopath who addresses food sensitivities that aren't official allergies.

Because, see, some internet self-diagnosis has led me to wonder if I have what is called a salicytate sensitivity. The allergist said it doesn't exist, has been totally disproven. But it's listed on several reputable websites like the Cleveland Clinic, WebMD, and Livestrong. There's even a forum, and the description of NSAID allergies, birth control allergies, and food allergies replicates what I've experienced. I mean, when I eat blueberries and apples my throat hurts . . . and then it responds to benadryl. So I'm just not sure. (C'mon, Goo and Aunt Banana, my medical relatives, weigh in here!)

But I do know that it's not over yet.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

With so much sadness, illness, and the like, I've been meditating, praying, breathing in and out, for friends and loved ones, even though I know that the circle of suffering and sunshine will always spin . . . .

• my aunt, in the hospital, and her immediate and extended family;
• my friend, whose father is suffering, and by extension the whole family (and she's been sick too);
• my friend, Miss M, who was just diagnosed with cancer, again;
• my friend, another Miss M, whose son is still in the hospital after a fall three weeks ago;
• my MIL, whose knee is bothering her greatly;
• my neighbor, who is going through a bitter divorce that just keeps getting uglier;
• the woman who cleans my house, who was robbed of all her electronics and jewellery.

Thoughts

. . . for my beloved Aunt, after whom Sis is named. Aunt is in the hospital, dehydrated, with an infection, weak. She's not critical but it sounds like she'll be there a few weeks. We love her very much and hope she is well enough to go home soon.

A Birthday Recipe for Mama

A Recipe for Mama

2 cups practicality and rationality

2 cups artistry, especially drawing and music (playing herself or listening to Indigo Girls and B'way)

1 1/2 cups romance

1 cup shyness

3/4 cup loyalty and devotion

1/2 cup feline-ophilia

1/3 cup spatial reasoning

1/3 cup fix-it-ness

1/3 cup gadgety-ness

1/4 cup food lover, anything, especially spicy, except green olives or fruit in main entrees

1/4 cup unfamiliarity (or call it righteousness) with popular culture

3 tablespoons travel lust, especially to Civil War sites and lighthouses

a pinch of cute (especially when smirking or blushing)

Add-ins: short hair, round glasses, sensible shoes, long-sleeve button-down shirts, long socks, tattered wallet, Blackberry and 'droid, chewing gum

Mix ingredients thoroughly. Grill until crispy exterior and warm interior. Serve immediately.

Mommy Hungry

They're Getting Married in the Morning!

Congrats to lesbigay citizens of NY State--you can now get married!!!

It's been a long time coming (and not just the frustratingly slow pace of the last few days).

But it's a wonderful, fairy-tale ending, especially here on Pride Weekend . . . may you get married and live happily ever after!

(And a great early birthday present for native NYer Mama!)

Updates

Just a quick email to catch you all up-to-date on things, since I'm sure I sound like a blubbery mess about the end of school.

• The last day of school has always been bittersweet for me. So, yeah, today's a turning point. I'll be fine. And, no, I'm not crying in front of the kiddos.
• My back. Always my back. Overdid it this week tie-dying with the kids, which was wonderful fun (the t-shirts, that is). Took about 24 hours to recover. Remember, I'm not on any kind of meds, so 24 hours feels long but isn't really. I spoke to my doc and he says if I'm not better by early next week to come in. I'm already better. Am I at 70% here in mid-to-late June? Almost, with a week or so delay because of the plantar fasciitis . . .
• which has almost totally gone away with some ice and my night splint. YAY! So I can walk about 20-30 minutes an hour straight without any trouble from my foot (and only minor fatigue in my back, wearing my lighter brace or NONE AT ALL).
• Allergies: after allergic reactions, I think, to three NSAIDs, I'm still itchy and having a few hives. Is it food? Is it supplements? I go to see an allergist to start getting the answers on Tuesday.
• Vegan cleanse: still mostly following the aforementioned food plan, with low to no dairy, eggs, wheat, refined sugar, or caffeine. I've lost more than 5 lbs, which is great because weight loss is a very proactive back-healing step (yeah, yeah, I've known this a long time, but sometimes it takes awhile to mean something). I also just read this fascinating article on a study that practically reversed diabetes in patients diagnosed in the last 2-4 years by reducing their intake to 600 calories a day for 2 months which eliminates the fat from their liver and pancreas (which has to do with insulin production). Now, I'm not doing that, of course, but it's something to keep in mind.
• Childcare: we have Babysitter for the summer and she'll be doing approximately 5-6 hours a day as needed, leaving me the other 5-6 hours (particularly in the morning). We're trying to line up easy-on-the-back activities for me to do with the kids, beyond watching "Glee" and Star Wars! I'll leave the tie-dye to Babysitter.
• Camp: Yep, we have camp. And swimming (thanks to Mrs. S for doing the driving!). And maybe even some playdates.
• Birthday: it's coming. Big Lego birthday party bash! Mama is obsessed and lovin' all the planning. Because you gotta plan when 40 classmates are invited along!! (Yep, we invited all of both of their kindergarten classes.)
• Otherwise, not much else going on. No planned outings, since I don't travel well, which is a bummer because we love day trips. But we'll catch up when we can.

At the End of the Day*

. . . they're another year older!

Yep, school is out!

Summer has begun!

And so what are they doing right now?

Yep.

Playing school.

Meanwhile, I'm upstairs having my own little cry because school is out--I can't believe Bud and Sis are first graders, almost six years old! I loved (trusted, was supported by, was inspired by) their teachers and will miss them next year (just like I missed the preschool teachers at the end of last year). And the kids will be in school full day, which seems so strange. But it's official: they're in the same class, which should then loop to second grade together. On the downside, I'm worried that I ended the year the way I started it, on my back (well, I'm further along than I was in early September!), and have concerns about being fun Mommy (or even capable Mommy, since I can't drive yet--I'm told sitting and driving is really hard on the back) this summer . . . and so am outsourcing a lot of my role. Nothing a good crying jag won't relieve. But better the change be hard for me than for them.

Happy first day of summer!

(really, I'm happy. In that weird conflicted happy way, which I remember well from last days of school of my childhood, 'cos I really always liked school.)

-=-=-=-=-=

*Are you catching all these Les Mis references? First "One Day More," and now "At the End of the Day." Sure, it has nothing to do with school, but it fits . . . .

One Day More

. . . until school is done. Yep, tomorrow is the last day of kindergarten (and we're reading Junie B. Jones, Graduation Girl, to mark the occasion). Sis and Bud are pretty much first graders. And almost six years old on top of it. It's amazing, really this passage of time. So quick, yet so slow, but with so much change along the way. Because in a year they've learned to write in upper and lower case, recognize dozens of sight words, read beginner books all by themselves, write several sentences to create stories, complete simple arithmetic. Beyond academics, there are all the other social intangibles, like functioning in a classroom setting, being responsible for their own things (most of the time), following directions, getting along with others (usually), etc. And they've loved it all--their teachers, their specials like P.E, snacktime, the bus, writing time, library books, classroom friends--EXCEPT homework. Though, oddly, they also complained most days about going, preferring to stay home to play, only to hop up and get their backpacks and leave in the morning without any real delay. I guess kids are funny that way.

Happy end-of-school, whenever it ended for you!

Go, Pip, Go!

"One of these mornings

You're going to rise up singing

Then you'll spread your wings

And you'll take to the sky."

--George Gershwin, "Summertime"

If you've been following the New York baby hawk, Pip, she took flight today! Yay!

Good For a Laugh

Here's a funny collection of UU humor, including almost every joke about UUs I've ever heard, excepting, "What do you call an atheist with children? A UU."

The Longest Day

Happy Summer Solstice, all!

It's a beautiful, bright day here in CT.

It's also the last full day of school (with short days on W/Th/F).

So to celebrate both occasions, the kids are going to paint shirts today, kind of a pseudo tie-dye. They'll rubber band the shirts and then squirt fabric paint on them. (And later in the summer, we're going to try Kool-Aid tie-dye (1 packet dry drink mix to 1 oz vinegar).)

I hope your day is as bright and colorful.

Happy Birthday and Anniversary!

To Mama Teacher . . . . have a wonderful vacation and birthday celebration! You deserve it.

Vegan Pledge Review

I ended my vegan cleanse today with a bowl of blueberries in yogurt, with a drizzle of honey. Delicious and divine.

But the effects linger. I lost about 4 lbs in two weeks. My blood pressure dropped 20 points. My palate is reoriented to fresh fruits and vegetables, away from refined and processed foods. Is my liver happier? Are there less toxins in my body? I don't know. But I realized that I can do without so much--coffee, breads, refined sugar--and not feel deprived.

And so, we're going to continue, in a way. Nothing is off limits, as it has been for two weeks, but I want to continue the trend of limiting dairy, eggs, wheat, and sugar and focusing on fruits, vegetables, beans, whole grains. The goal is a continued focus on whole, natural foods, but also with an eye towards decreasing inflammation, especially since I can't take anti-inflammatories anymore.

After two weeks of doing completely without, it might be a challenge to actually balance small amounts--it's easier to say no outright. But it's worth it, I know. I might even make "vegan week" a monthly activity. We'll just have to see. But I highly recommend the experience to anyone who thinks seriously about food and health. Try it . . . I liked it.

A Loser Like Me

Yesterday, while Bud and Mama were at the dance party, Sis stayed home with me. We didn't have plans, but we had options--we could do arts and crafts, play games, or watch any movie she wanted.

But in the end, what she wanted, was to play water balloons with Neighbor Boy, who was outside having a blast when we were saying goodbye to Bud. I could never compete.

Of course, I let her go, checking in several times to make sure things were okay; they were, the mom was helping fill the balloons and the dad was outside and thus nearby. She played with him for two hours, and then another hour after Bud got home and joined them, until dinner.

And I was so upset. I've had real struggles with losing my sense of being "Mommy" while I temporarily can't play everything I used to, knowing that two months doesn't feel temporary to them. I battle the feeling of uselessness. And yesterday, I lost.

I know, of course, that kids choosing other kids over parents is the natural progression of childhood. But I also know that, in the past, with baking or a more involved arts and crafts, I'd have had a fighting chance of being the winner, of being more fun and entertaining, of being of use. I understand, though, that I probably would've chosen water balloons in her place, too, especially since Bud was off having fun with kids his own age.

But I mourn the mother-daughter time we didn't get to have yesterday.

I mourn all the Mommy time I haven't gotten . . . . and won't get in the future.

The Silent Piano

We had long used the piano, but not as a piano. It held family photos and knick-knacks. It functioned admirably as a fort when sheets were spread between it and the bench.

But we never played it. Even with books of sheet music on top.

And a silent piano is a sad burden.

Of course, we had grand intentions, when we got the piano for free, plus the cost of moving it, when the kids were about a year old. We wanted to bring live music into the house. I wanted to learn to play. Mama wanted to improve her playing. We wanted the kids to play. We had images of singalongs and lessons and recitals.

The piano was old. 1916. An American-made version of a German piano, I believe. It weighed more than any piano our movers had moved. At some point it had been painted white and green but was stripped and left unvarnished, with bits of white and green still visible in places. It was not in tune. The tuner who had tuned it for the previous tuner said it would be impossible to restore completely without huge expense. Still, it didn't sound off to me because I don't have much of an ear. And we figured it would be okay. It was our starter piano.

Except we never really started. Music came from our iPod or from our box of other musical instruments or from our voices. We tried a few times but couldn't interest the kids in playing. And Mama and I never found the time. Or had the inclination.

And so we realized it was time to let it go . . . so it could be used by someone, so we could have the space back. The kids were reluctant and spent a whole day enthralled by the inner-workings of the hammers hitting the strings, something we'd never shown them. We wavered. Maybe we had them hooked. Until we asked outright if they wanted to take lessons AND practice. Nope. Not at all. Not even a consideration.

Done. The piano left this morning, free to anyone who would have it moved. The kids were intrigued by seeing it wheeled out of the house and into the truck. I wasn't sad, which meant I felt it was the right decision. Mama was conflicted with regret, longing, hope; even though it was her idea, I think it's always going to make her a bit sad.

We moved a bookcase, sorted through some games and puzzles, shifted couches (no, I didn't). It looks different, sending the cats into a tizzy. Not right, not wrong. We'll get used to it. Eventually.

And it we have another longing for a piano, we can try again. Perhaps with a keyboard first. Until then, I'm glad that the old piano will sing again, even if it's for someone else.

Our Bud Bieber

Yesterday, Bud went to a dance birthday party, complete with dj, disco lights, karaoke, and music. For the 6-year old set. Mama said he danced for two hours straight, a combo of me (listening to the speed of the music to determine pace of movement), "Glee" moves, and kung fu forms. He even did the splits in the middle of the dance floor! And several other moves that really did look like breakdancing. The DJ called all the kids by various pop/rock star names.

Bud proudly told me when he got home, with two medals for his dancing, that he was "Beaver."

"Who is Justin Beaver, Mom?"