Our Special Visitor

The doorbell rang.

And there, through the window, I could see a shock of wavy black and white hair that I recognized:  my uncle T.

Except he lives in Austin!

We were the lucky and surprised recipients of an unannounced visit on Sunday afternoon.  Uncle had been researching family genealogy in nearby MA (Yep, Yankees in the family!  Gasp.) and the library he was supposed to visit was closed.  So . . . he drove to see us!

The kids were nonplussed, as if random relatives always show up on our doorstep, but also a bit confused, "Was he your uncle when you were little?"  They hadn't remembered his previous visit or meeting him at Aunt Banana and Uncle Soccer's wedding.  So they played Legos while we talked, later going with us for our favorite deli lunch.

And then he was off again.  

Strange and unexpected but a nice treat on a quiet day.

The night song

Arriving home from our last service at our church's now-former building on Saturday night, Bud hopped out of the car and stopped in his tracks.  "Listen to the night song," he encouraged us.  Sure enough, all manner of creatures were singing their song.  Being (sub)urbanites Mama and I couldn't identify them, beyond suggesting crickets, locust, maybe frogs.  But there sure were a lot of them.  And loud.

I guess we're just not outside after dark much.

There wasn't, however, the one critter Sis hoped to hear:  the leader of the night song in her book, Quiet Bunny, is of course a rabbit.

Fourth and Long

Continuing the football metaphors, I went to my fourth doctor's appointment today (following a pretty rough weekend of tightness), another physiatrist.  He listened and thought, declaring my symptoms "weird," and managed to eliminate mechanical issues as the source of my pain (i.e. not tailbone like coccydynia or SI joint like sacroilitis), by way of a Novacaine injection to my tailbone.  He thinks its nerve pain in my sacrum related to the disc leaking its toxic fluid when I sit.

Or something.

Anyway, I go for another injection, this time a transforaminal epidural, next Thursday.  It might be a long shot (hee hee), but I don't have too much to lose (especially with two Atavan to get me to the appointment!).  And it sounds like the way to go (instead of nerve meds like Lyrica) . . . my naturopath/acupuncturist even seems to think so.

By the way, I postponed tomorrow's ultrasound.  I'm benching myself.  There'll be another game . . . .

To change sports, I keep thinking of Diana Nyad swimming for 40+ hours through sharks and jellyfish.  If she can do that, I can do this . . . .

A Little Sign of Fall

Still a Hero

After sharks, barracudas, and Portugeuse Man O'Wars, Diana Nyad was forced to stop her swim due to health concerns.  Addressing her crew, she said, "But for each of us, isn’t life about determining your own finish line? This journey has always been about reaching your own other shore no matter what it is, and that dream continues.”


Earlier, she gave her strategy for attempting her dream:  "The mental approach has to be to parcel it out. No one could swim the whole thing while thinking about the whole thing. Till I get a glimpse of the final shore I can’t start obsessing on it—it’s too far away, too nebulous—I don’t know where it is. So I’m going to take it night by day: first get through the nighttime and then get through the daytime, and then the nighttime again, and so on. . . . And I’ll just do that till I get news that the shore is near."


Her shore just wasn't at the Florida coastline . . . but she made attempting dreams, even with the possibility that you don't reach them, seem like the best kind of life.

You Go!

Diana Nyad is in the water, attempting her swim from Cuba to Florida again.  Already, she's survived an entanglement with a Portuguese Man O' War, with its poisonous sting.

We're rooting for her and have the t-shirts to prove it.

Make it or not, she's a hero to us.

I Fixed it Myself!

Look!  I fixed my blog trouble myself, by changing the HTML code!

I think Mama Hungry will be the most impressed with that accomplishment.

Blog Troubles

I do not know why my gadgets keep appearing at the bottom of the page. I've fiddled and fixed and nothing will move them.

I'll keep working on it so expect some changes over the next few days.

Until then, my welcome, archive, blogroll, etc, are down there at the very bottom.

My Monologues

I've been pondering recently my need to post lengthy diatribes, explanations, and explorations on my various beliefs or opinions on education, politics, spirituality, books, parenting, child development, food, you name it.

And I have realized something:  I miss conversation, specifically, an exchange of ideas or a discussion of current events.

That's not to say I don't like my social, interpersonal conversations where friends and I exchanged anecdotes and compassion.  Those are central.  And often more important to me than waxing intellectual.

But sometimes I like to talk about things beyond me, say the death penalty or the debate about single-sex schools.  Because, of course, nothing is really beyond us, as we are all part of this world.  And so I think I use my blog to consider these things, to exercise my mental faculties, test my views, and see if anyone wants to discuss.  Thankfully, I do get some responses, usually privately, via email or telephone call.

And so I keep posting.

Because I keep thinking.

(Though, you'll notice I have been completely silent on the current Republican presidential field.  THAT just doesn't bear thinking about.)

Second Down and Three

Not exactly a football reference.

I've seen two doctors today and have three more appointments in the same number of days.

Today, my ENT doctor said my reflux is not better, no worse, and that I'll probably be on Prilosec a long time, even with changes in diet.  Personally, I'm convinced once I'm vertical after meals more, it will recede.

My acupuncturist/naturopath offered me some turmeric for inflammation, some licorice (conveniently chocolate-flavored!) for the reflux, and, after about an hour's conversation and examination, believes that my inability to sit  is due to my sacrum and not just my L5 SI 1.  She's suggested osteopath/PT/cranial-sacral therapy.  At least she listened to how the pain is not the same as herniated disc pain (which is burning and intense, while this is achy and throbbing) and is specifically located on my tailbone (and disappears when I rise), not my disc spot.  It's a start, anyway.

Tomorrow is the dermatologist for a second opinion on my still inflamed, itchy, and hive-y skin.

Monday is another spine specialist for a fourth opinion (fifth?  I forget these days).  Maybe he'll have some more insight on the sacrum.

Tuesday is an ultrasound to check for any other inflammation.

Football would have been more fun.

Rest in Peace

My heart goes out to the family of Troy Davis, who was executed in Georgia yesterday despite the complete lack of physical evidence and only questionable witnesses who have since recanted, as well as worldwide protests from such luminaries as former President Carter and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

And while they sought the execution, my heart is also with the family of murdered Officer McPhail, who didn't really receive justice last night.

There is no justice in killing.

I'm with Crunchy Corner (Sew and Sow's daughter) in feeling shame as an American today.

True to Myself, Part 2

As I mentioned earlier, I'm dropping my provided-food diet in favor of my prior mostly vegan lifestyle.  And it doesn't seem that anyone is surprised that I quit.  Probably because most people were surprised I'd try it to begin with.

Let's call it an act of desperation.  And while losing 8 lbs is great, it didn't enable me suddenly to sit, which really was my ulterior motive.

Still, I realized I learned a few things during this momentary lapse:  mercy, appropriate portion sizes are just so much smaller than what you see everywhere.  And there was almost no gluten.  But fruits and vegetables all the time.  So, I'll take that awareness and apply it to my preferred, homemade, whole food yada yada yada foods.

And I'm not the only one committing to a whole foods life at this bountiful time of harvest.  My folks are investigating it too--in fact, Pop is veering vegan!  And Mom is mostly along for the ride with him.  Mama Hungry and I are revamping the way we shop and cook, to better feed ourselves and the kids.  And Aunt Banana is even making all of her own baby food.

And that's all something I can be thankful for a few months early.

O Happy Day!

I got out and about this morning, going to the school book fair, with my new Driver.  It was great to leave the house and spend some time at school--Sis and Bud were so thrilled to see me.  And not just because I had the money!  They each chose a few books--Star Wars, bunnies, and some Harry Potter stickers--but mostly enjoyed shopping with all of their little friends.  I bought a few books, too--on September 11, Diary of a Spider, some Jack Prelutsky poetry, and a healthy kids' cookbook.  I chatted with friends--half my old playgroup was there! And three of them were working very hard to pull of the event (thanks Mommy Goose, Miss L, and Miss K)--and with teachers, past and present.    It was an all-around great morning.

I am so grateful for Driver, who also helped me purchase a basket of flowers for my neighbor whose mother died (Neighbor Boy's grandmother) and went with me for coffee (mmmm, it's pumpkin spice latte season!).  Having her help really brightens my day.  She's taking me to a doctor's appointment on Friday and on Tuesday (just follow-ups to all those appointments with my ENT and dermatologist from the summer).

Just like today, this school year is already looking much better (for me) than last.

Glee-Less

After summer hiatus, "Glee" is back.

And I didn't like it.  The first episode, that is.

From the 20 minutes it took to get to the first song to the myriad character adjustments (Quinn is a "skank?"), I just didn't think it was strong (I did like the Rachel-Kurt scenes).  And don't get me started on the pitiful Asperger's bit, "self-diagnosed" or not, which was insensitive and heartless.  And stupid and incorrect.  (yeah, yeah, I know this is biting comedy, but "Glee" is usually sensitive to GLBT, people with Downs, a person in a wheelchair, even when there are jokes--why such a misunderstood portrayal of Asperger's?  I know six kids on the spectrum and don't think this is funny.  Or in any way meaningful.)

I hope it gets better.

But until then, I'm thankful for my seasons 1 and 2 dvds.

True to Myself

I've lost about eight pounds on my diet in the last six weeks or so, but I'm giving it up.  Eating prepared, processed, fake food just doesn't appeal to me anymore.  And even though one of my major goals is weight loss, it's not my only health goal . . . and the diet is not in line with my beliefs and values.  There's too much soy, too many chemicals, too many fake sugars.  I've had an upset stomach.  It's not a model I want to project for my kids.  And so, in talking to Mama Hungry, we're going back to our vegan, whole foods diet, especially now that I am better able to cook.  It's more work but also more "us."  And I imagine the weight will follow (I lost five in two weeks the last time).  And that will be the bonus to feeling good about what I'm eating.

It's September, So It Must Be School

September is a good month for thinking about school and education, as it all starts up again for the next nine months.  Appropriately, the NYTimes published the education issue of its magazine, with the lead article "What if the Secret to Success is Failure?"  (see discussion here). If you've read  Nurture Shock, with a focus on the section about self-control, the premise of the article that character is as important to future success as information and knowledge will not be a surprise.  If you've seen the movie Race to Nowhere, you probably won't be surprised that upper middle-class, high-achieving kids are floundering and faltering.  But if you haven't, or want to read how two schools are approaching character education with this in mind, the article is a fascinating read, if only for the discussion of "moral character" and "performance character" (i.e. behaviors that are ethical and those that will help you succeed), and the list of 24 character traits found in all cultures (according to a leading researcher) and the seven being focused on at one school (zest, grit, self-control, social intelligence, gratitude, optimism, and curiosity).  One researcher has developed a three-minute, 12-question "Grit Test," but I think my favorite might still be the "marshmallow test"--does your child have the self-control to wait to get two marshmallows or will your child eat the one sitting on the table?  Apparently, this is an accurate predictor of success.


Of course, what kind of success?  Material?  Academic?  Professional?  Given that this is the NYTimes, the entire magazine issue is geared towards a particular kind of parent--in fact, the kind of competitive, achieving, highly-involved, middle class parent that the first article thinks is messing up kids (the kind of parent I am trying not to be but inherently am).  The aforementioned article, which focuses on two selective private schools, talks a lot about achievement in the future--Ivy League admission, high grades, well-paying stable careers--but never addresses that perhaps our cultural definitions of success are skewed.   And completely unavailable to most people, even those with the 24 character traits.  Is the "character report card" one school issues just another way for kids to compete and parents to stress on the road to yet more high achievement?  Is now character something they will study for, just another tool in their sophisticated tool kits?  Or is it, as one teacher states, a way to even the playing field: "learning these strengths is partly about trying to demystify what makes other people successful — kind of like, ‘We’re letting you in on the secret of what successful people are like.’"  Not that I don't want Bud and Sis to have all those kinds of successes, but I also want to value the other character traits and experiences that don't necessarily lead to monetary achievement.  And I'm not sure quantifying and commodifying character is the way to get anywhere. 


It reminded me of a conversation with Sis yesterday who, while finishing dinner, wanted to play one of my question games.  The question was, "What five things do you most like about yourself?"


Her answer:  pride, caring, considerate, helpful, and loving.  


It's a wonderful list and I'm so proud of her.  But would she fail on her "character report card?"  And isn't that awful?


Another article in the paper, "Autistic and Seeking a Place in the Adult World," recently was about the efforts one family in NJ is going through to secure a future for their son with Autism after he leaves school, with the help of an amazing transitioning program headed by an impressive and hardworking administrator.  After reading about school-community relations, on the job mentoring, individual aides, transportation,  etc etc etc, I was actually sad for a variety of reasons:  sad that most children on the spectrum and indeed most children with any kind of special needs will not get the kind of amazing preparation and care that this young man is receiving in this affluent suburb; sad that even with all this assistance, it is likely that there just aren't enough societal structures in place to support this young man in his search for independence, most noticeably envisioned as "the apartment;" even sad that the approximately $1 million spent on his education alone (not including any monies his parents spent on outside therapies, etc) will not have achieved anyone's goals for him.


A final article, "My Family's Experiment in Extreme Schooling"--the third that really only addresses the experiences of an elite group of students and their families (where are the regular public schools in this magazine??)--discusses one family's move to Russia and the children's immersion in an unusual private school, all in Russian, which they did not speak.  I marveled at the parents' risking of their children's happiness, academic success, and the like but knew, despite initial difficulties, it would turn out well or the parents would pick up the pieces (as the first article assures us that upper middle class parents do).  And of course, the children are soon fluent and exemplars of character and successful in their studies.  And I envied the parents' chutzpah and their family's opportunity.


Which brings me to a conversation at church on Sunday.  A friend of mine who homeschooled her boys asked what kind of schooling my kiddos were doing this year.  Public, I said, but never saying no to homeschooling if we aren't all satisfied.  She mentioned that a friend of hers sent her kids to public elementary school and then homeschooled for middle school before sending them to private or magnet high schools.  And I loved the idea.  What if we homeschooled or unschooled for three or four years in the middle, those awful middle years in junior high?  We could travel locally, nationally, and internationally.  We could focus on subjects and projects and skills that interested the kids.  We could take a break from academic competition and standardized tests and grades and all the ridiculousness that attends modern American education.  And with five years until they'd be in middle school, we have time to plan and save.  The possibilities are endless.


And just think of how character-building it would be!


(and of course, how typical, again, of upper middle class parents.)


-=-=-=-=-
This just in.

Raccoons

After the kids climbed aboard the bus yesterday, the bus driver motioned for me to step forward.  "Two huge raccoons just went in your backyard.  Be careful."

I was taken aback.  Not by the raccoons but by his need to warn me about them.  Sure, raccoons can startle you, hiss and get aggressive, and, sure, it was daylight, and most raccoons shouldn't be out and about, but I don't know if they attack people.  Is suburbia so tame that we need a warning about raccoons?

Still, I was glad for the information, and curious, and so I walked the yard.   Alas, no sign of them.

Until about an hour later when I walked around the block a few times.  There in front of me in a neighbor's yard were indeed two raccoons:  a big giant mama raccoon and a much smaller child raccoon.  Cute.  I had the sensation that they were looking for a place to go, ambling along.  And then I remembered, for two days now, a neighbor has been clearing the back of his property of trees and undergrowth, felling about seven huge trees and all the stuff in between.  Was this raccoon family homeless because of the clearing?  Were they looking for a new place to live?

They left before I got a picture of them for the kids.  I hope they find a place to live.  And in the end, I'm more scared of my neighbor's maniacal felling of nature than of two raccoons.

Fantasia

We live in Fantasy Land here.

Sometimes, the stories come from movies, as when the kids play Jedis with their lightsabers or Ewoks outside in their large stick hut (complete with fire circle and swings-as-gliders).

Sometimes, the stories come from books, such as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and playing wizards or building with Legos; Secrets of Droon and battling the evil Lord Spar; even the Disney fairy stories and imagining which talent they would have as they flit in and out of the Faerie Hut (previously the Ewok hut).

Sometimes, they just make up their own stories using elements from all of the above or none.

And there are so many other worlds they'll visit in books--Middle Earth, Redwall, Narnia, Oz, Wonderland, to name a few--plus any number of their own imaginings.

It's, well, fantastic!

Green-Letter Day

As in the green ink of the official Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry acceptance letter.

Because today we all watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

(After our friends from Philly visited, no mean feat for two very eager kids.  But they enjoyed talking about HP and Legos in the meantime.)

Covering the bed with a tablecloth, we camped out with all manner of sugary and crunchy snacks, from popcorn and animal cookies to fruit jellies and chocolate bars.  We saved the jelly beans for the Hogwarts Express scene when Harry and Ron ate Bertie Bott's beans.  They'd even brought their Gryffindor cloaks to wear but decided to eat instead (and there is a no-eating-in-costumes rule).

And we loved every minute of it.  Bud gleefully called out everything he recognized, from Prof. McGonagall as a cat to the acceptance letter, from the Leaky Cauldron to Ollivander's, from the Sorting Hat to the Mirror of Erised, and everything in between.  Sis sat much more quietly, taking it all in.

They marveled at the glimmering enchanted Great Hall, at the fast-paced Quidditch Game, at the magic of the Cloak of Invisibility.  Even the scary bits--the screaming book, the bloodied unicorn, and of course He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named--didn't phase them too much.  Though, Bud later admitted he was surprised by all the explosions in the giant wizards' chess game.

So thrilled were they with the film that they raced straight downstairs to build all the sets in Legos, happily planning the cupboard under the stairs of the Dursleys' house and then helping Mama with the Diagon Alley set.

It was indeed a magical movie experience.

(Though, they were glad to have read the book first, they said.)

News Sources

If you're a regular reader here, you know that I do all my news gathering online, including, first and foremost, The New York Times, Huffington Post, Salon, Slate (sometimes, because their mobile site stinks; same with Daily Beast), and for fun, Jezebel.  Plus BBC, my local Patch, the Connecticut Post, and sometimes NPR online.

And now I'm adding a few others to my daily list:

• Alternet, an aggregate of alternative presses and online news--read an interesting article there just yesterday about growing up in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull Movement
• Yes Magazine, which tagline reads "Powerful ideas, Practical Actions"--it's supposed to counteract all the above (and below) negative news with more positive stories and suggestions
• and, occasionally, Mother Jones

Where do you go for news?

I was thinking of adding The Economist or the Guardian to go with the BBC for a non-American slant.  (What do you think, Lambeth?)  Though, maybe I should read the WSJ or National Review for the conservative take . . .