Rainbow Love and Marriage

As you can well imagine, Friday was a wonderful, emotional day of us here in the Hungry household.

And I had barely remembered that the SCOTUS would be handing down their ruling, except I saw something about it that George Takei posted on FB about it.  So I posted on my timeline a letter to SCOTUS asking for them please to give legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states to Mama for her birthday, which was that day.

Less than an hour later, I picked up my phone and saw the NYTimes breaking news alert.

The kids were playing a computer game, when I burst into tears.  Both ran over to see what was the matter.  When I told them, we all hugged.

I called Mama crying; she hadn't heard.  I think she was as surprised as I was.  Truly, I figured the court would vote against it.  I never expected that they would pass it.  Sure, 5-4, but a miss is as good as a mile, my dad says.

I called Gommie and Pop, who I knew were in a media black-out at the bay--they hardly even get signal, much less news (and who would want to, with the burning of 6 black churches and the massacre of 39+ tourists at a beach in beautiful Sousse, Tunisia--I was there in 1990 and am so saddened by the extremism attacking their country.)  They cheered and we all got sniffly and they promised to celebrate.  They are so amazingly supportive of us and have rooted for same-sex marriage and rights all the way.  Thanks, Mom and Dad, and Hannah, for your constant acceptance, love, support, and enthusiasm.  Fly that rainbow flag!

We immediately decided to make another rainbow cake, like we did two years ago on Mama's birthday to celebrate the federal approval of same-sex marriage in states that had legalized it, including our own.  We got cake mix and ice cream at the store, deciding to make it a pineapple upside-down cake, which is one of Mama's favorites.  A rainbow pineapple upside-down cake!



I spent the rest of the day checking FB off and on, sharing everything remotely rainbow:  a cartoon of the lowering of the Confederate battle flag and the raising of the rainbow pride flag; a compilation of photos of all the buildings lit rainbow, including the White House and Disney Castle; a collection of rainbow pride ads; thank-yous to the various plaintiffs; the photo of the running of the interns to take the decision to the waiting media; the LOTR-inspired "I am NO Man" meme of the three female justices; a gathering of FB memes including Obama on a rainbow unicorn; the meme about the battle between Skittles and the Confederate flag; the Star Wars meme about "a million homophobes cried out and were suddenly silenced"; the funny conservatives "moving to Canada" meme (where there has been gay marriage for 10 years!); the SCOTUS decision haiku;  the cartoon of God out of lightening strikes to destroy gays--"All we have in stock are rainbows"; a link to Obama's speech; a link to the full 100+ page decision; a pic of Ben & Jerry's I Dough, I Dough honorary flavor; the "can we just call it 'marriage' now?"; and the exploding FB rainbow computer meme, plus many others.  And yes, I changed my profile picture to a rainbow image of Mama and I where we met.  Yep, I was a part of the social media rainbow.  And the glow is still with me.

When Mama got home, we celebrated both her birthday--with lots of rainbow-wrapped presents--and of course, the ruling with the gay cake (beautiful but not all that tasty; it was a box mix that used egg whites instead of full eggs probably to preserve the color, but it made a tasteless, light cake.)  Lots of hugs, some more tears, and occasional sharing of rainbow FB posts.  I'm not even sure I can articulate most of what I'm feeling and why.  We've been lucky to have this kind of support from our families and community for years; it was great to see it backed up legally and to have gay and lesbian folks receive this legal support for the first time and hopefully their loved ones and families will come around--in fact, the first lesbian I knew and the first woman who kissed me can now marry her longtime girlfriend!

And I'll admit that I was not just a little happy that SCOTUS delivered a kind of "f**k you" to conservative homophobes.  The fact that some will now willingly disregard the ruling (I'm looking at you, Texas Attorney General Paxton) because they don't like it and are sore losers makes me crazy (insert meme comparing Christians who want their brand of religion to be the rule of the US to the Islamic Sate.  Quippy but true.)    But I'm still glad we won.  (It has been a pretty good week for liberals, for a change.)

We're still thrilled, of course (and perhaps a little amazed) and I have been ignoring, for the most part (see previous rant), the negative reactions.  Just basking in the win . . . .

Twenty years to the week after I first met Mama . . . . . Happy Birthday, Mama!!

It just got better!

Congratulations!

I'm doubly excited by the news this evening that Illinois has approved same-sex marriage because we lived there in those first golden years of our relationship and knew so many couples who can now be legally wed.

We've been pretty nostalgic for Chicago recently, especially after our date night Saturday which included a delicious Ethiopian meal and then a concert by those "troubadours of peace," Libana, a women's a capella group that focuses on music by women from around the world.  I have long known their CDs and songs because Artemis Singers, the lesbian chorus I sang with in Chicago, was often inspired by their arrangements.  It was a great evening of voices, percussion, other instruments (hammered dulcimer and guitar and clarinet), and dance, with selections from Albania, Sephardic Morocco, the Amazigh (the preferred term for the Berber people of North Africa), Gujarat in India, Malaysia, indigenous people in the Andes (I couldn't help but giggle because it sounded just like Peruvian street musicians in NYC!), new songs by women composers including the Peace Prayer Mandala, and others, including a chant-a-long.  It was a wonderful armchair journey, which took me not only to those places, but back to Chicago and practices with the chorus as well as (albeit very different) musical performances at Mountain Moving Coffeehouse.  Lovely memories, a lovely night.

The Wait is Over

The wait is over.

And so is (some of) the inequality and discrimination.

The Supreme Court has struck down DOMA, making same-sex marriages in states where they are legal also  legal on the federal level.

Mama and I are well and truly married.

I cried on the phone with Mama and with Pop.  Then went to school for the last-day party and was teary when I got hugs from several of the teachers (who asked if I were teary for the last day).

And then I told the kiddos and cried some more.

It's all good.  And now I'm baking a big celebratory rainbow birthday cake!  Thank you, Supreme Court, for Mama's wonderful birthday presents.

Waiting

I'm waiting to see if we're legally married and legally a family on a federal level today.  It's weird.  And really rather helpless feeling.

Early this week, Sis asked if the Supreme Court could make a family move, could make them separate.  She was asking because she knows about the two cases before SCOTUS.  I assured her that, no matter what, we were a family, we were staying together, that the Supreme Court didn't have that kind of power.

Yes, thank heavens we live here in Connecticut.

Even if both cases don't go our way, the worst we suffer, practically, is the continued loss of thousands of dollars in taxes.  That and a continued sense of inequality.  And righteousness.

Still, it would be wonderful if DOMA were struck down.

I've been saving some rainbow paper goods to celebrate.  And it's Mama's birthday.  Wouldn't striking down DOMA be a great birthday present from the Supreme Court?