The Weight Wait is Over

I've started another 30 Day Vegan workshop with Heather Bruggeman, of Beauty That Moves.  I've taken her workshops before, including 30DV and Whole Food Kitchen, and always appreciate new recipes and the supportive environment she creates.

And I've really been enjoying veganism recently,  I read Mark Bittman's VB6:  Vegan Before 6 book which advocates eating vegan and minimally-processed food for breakfast and lunch and then whatever for dinner (which for me is still vegetarian--so I generally just add cheese!)  I like the focus on plant-based foods with the flexibility of not adhering to a strict regime/dogma--and it makes cooking for all of us easier.  I like rules and VB6 is a pretty easy one to remember.

I had a pretty powerful epiphany recently:  weight loss is an unobtainable goal.  Think on it--how many people do you know who diet?  And how many do you know who have lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off even a year?  I think I can name 3 or maybe 4 (out of dozens and dozens and dozens), friends of friends or relatives, all of whom have suffered major health issues that contributed to or significantly motivated them to weight loss (intriguingly, almost all of them are over 65, too; none are in my peer group.)  There was another on the list, but she has gained back 40 lbs.  I'm not special and I don't imagine that I can succeed where so many people with less weight to lose and more interest in exercise also fail.  I realized that losing weight was a goal that only served to frustrate me, with years of failure behind me, compounding the problem with yo-yoing.

And science tells me I'm right.  Something like less that 2% of people lose and keep off weight.  There was even an article today in the NYTimes that evolution fights weight loss--"Even if a 170-pound person loses 20 pounds, he needs 15 percent fewer calories to maintain the new weight than someone who always weighed 150."  And that doesn't include the bacteria that healthy-weight people have in abudance that overweight people don't--it's not like I can go out and buy Akkermansia muciniphila.   I can't win and it's silly to play by those rules.   (And don't tell me just to move more and eat less because as studies show it doesn't actually work that way for many of us.)

So I'm changing the game.  And no, this isn't some tricky way to focus on losing weight without calling it that.  I've actually really given up on losing weight as a goal.   I'm focusing on healthy eating--plant-based veganism before dinnertime--and my PT exercises and treadmill.  I'm not watching the scale; I'm not measuring inches.  The numbers I care about are blood pressure (always low), sugar (fine), and cholesterol (could be lower), and all will be improved by veganism (even 2/3rds veganism.)

More than that, I think my spirit will be.  I'm still figuring out the ramifications of my epiphany, but it came to me as clear as day and has already improved things for me; though, I admit, believing it and living it are two different things--our culture is drowning in dieting/fat-shaming/weight-loss-as-a-billion-dollar-industry and that mindset is habitual.  Instead of living in a constant state of failure and negativity, I want to focus on what I can do--I've been a vegetarian for five years (with only some conscious decisions to eat meat, like, say, a bite of chicken fried steak and the occasional fish) and know I can be a vegan most of the time.

I'm writing all of this here not because I like to discuss my weight (I really don't), but because I want to reach out to my friends and readers who struggle with weight the way I do and are ashamed of themselves everyday for it.  You're not alone.  There is another way (and it doesn't have to be veganism; that's just my path now.)  Give up the dieting and the negative self-talk.  Fight cultural body shaming and bullying (and here.)  For ourselves, for others, for our children.  Let's try it together.  It's going to be okay.  We are still valuable, loveable people.  Even if we don't ever lose another pound.

Besides, there really are worse things in the world than being overweight.

Even if our culture has lost sight of that completely.

Just Say No

Just say no to body or fat shaming.

Studies have recently shown that overweight children are actually bullied by the adults in their lives--often loved relatives or respected teachers.  Not only is bullying by adults common, it's overlooked.  Looking back on my long struggle with body issues and weight, I heard more fat-shaming from adults--friends and loved ones--than I ever heard from other students.  A wonderful article in the NYTimes recently listed suggestions for avoiding such body-shaming.  I quote it in its entirety as it elucidates damaging ways we talk about children's bodies that do such harm.

I know because I've heard them all.

And none of them, not one of them, ever made me thin.  Or feel good about myself.

PLEASE be very aware of what you say to or about children because it will stay with them the rest of their lives:

¶ Don’t blame your child for his weight. Dinner-table comments like, “Do you really need another piece of bread?” will make your child feel badly about himself, which will undermine his efforts toward health. “Powerful biological forces maintain weight differentially in people,” explains Dan Kirschenbaum, president of Wellspring, an organization that runs weight-loss camps and boarding schools. In other words, some people are genetically predisposed to be heavier, and since the human body is designed to hang on to calories, weight loss for some requires severe and even punitive measures. 

¶ Don’t engage in “fat talk,” complaining about weight and appearance, whether it’s your own, your child’s or a celebrity’s. Saying “My thighs are so huge!” teaches your child it’s acceptable to disparage herself and puts way too much emphasis on appearance, says Dr. Puhl. 

¶ Don’t promise your child that if only he lost weight, he wouldn’t be bullied or teased. A study published in the journal Obesity by researchers at the University of Hawaii showed that stigma around obesity often persists even after someone loses weight. 

¶ Don’t treat your child as if he has — or is — a problem that needs remedying. “This will make him feel flawed and inferior,” says Ellyn Satter, a dietitian and therapist in Madison, Wis., and author of “Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming.” Instead, she suggests, focus on a child’s other good qualities, and encourage traits like common sense, character and problem-solving skills. 

¶ Don’t ignore or dismiss bullying. If you suspect or know your teen is being stigmatized, talk to her about it. “Questions as simple as ‘Who did you sit with at lunch?’ can open a dialogue and help determine if she has allies or support at school,” says Dr. Puhl. 

¶ Explore your own biases around weight. “If parents can get past their own inner bigot and be accepting and supportive, they can be of great help to children,” says Ms. Satter. “I’ve seen kids with that secure foundation come up with their own effective solutions to the teasing.” 

¶ Focus on health, not weight. “Promote a healthy environment for everyone in the home,” says Dr. Puhl, not just the child who is overweight. Serve delicious, well-balanced meals, and encourage everyone in the family to be active in ways they enjoy. Emphasize the value of healthy behaviors rather than looks. 

¶ Speak directly and matter-of-factly about your child’s weight if he asks. Don’t try to avoid the issue with euphemisms like stocky or solid, says Ms. Satter. Instead, she advises, tell the truth but reframe the issue, saying something like “Yes, you do have fat on your body. Why, do people tease you about it?” Children are looking for information and guidance. “You can neutralize a message that’s often meant in a derogatory way,” she says.

Going Bananas

I think you might have to be one of the 1.75 million people currently enrolled (in meetings or online) with Weight Watchers, or be an alum, to appreciate this near headline-making news: bananas are free!

Yep, as one blogger noted, it's "Weight Watchers meets Michael Pollan," with a new plan focused on--imagine this, from a company renowned for hawking its prepackaged food and for selling its copyrighted Points label to other food manufacturers--fresh fruits and vegetables, most of which are now "free."

This might sound simple or obvious or stupid to non-members (and most of the snarky and righteous commenters on the NYTimes article above), but previously one banana had the same value as a 100-calorie pack of Oreos. Now, for those of us interested in whole, local, seasonal, and/or organic real food, that was an easy choice most of the time, but Oreos call and bananas don't.

Except now, because I've been craving them. And oranges. And snap peas. Sure, these were "cheap" foods before, and a better choice than chocolate or whatever, but I didn't get into this mess by always making sensible food choices, even as a vegetarian (in fact, it's easier to eat crap as a vegetarian sometimes. I mean, Fritos are meat-free!)

But now that my chocolate, pizza, hummus, peanut butter, whole Greek yogurt, homemade bread, etc. "cost" more than they used to, the rules of the psychological game (and isn't that the biggest piece?) have changed entirely.

Wish me (and those 1.75 million other people) luck! And be prepared for a national banana shortage . . . .

Scale Victory!

Yeah, I hit another magical number! Still aiming for that 5% though. And then 10% . . . . You know what they say about Rome.

Even better, there was an asparagus recipe in the little booklet we now get at every WW meeting (which, being a paper-hoarder and recipe hound thrills me to no end. It's one reason I go every week, which I'm sure is half the point). I've been craving asparagus for about 3 months (at least since planning the Christmas menu) but avoiding all of the ones in the store because they have traveled more food miles to get here than I have in my life! But pretty soon there's going to be local asparagus! (and by that I mean local from this continent! And eventually from my region . . . . ) I can't wait. Send on those asparagus recipes . . . .

Lastly, I'm very excited about the possibility that chain restaurants will be required to provide nutritional information by the new health care bill (a la the law in NYC, which really does make you think twice about buying that scone!)--so many do it selectively or not at all, which makes it hard to plan ahead. And you know the calories/fat are worse than you can possibly imagine, which is why we try not to eat out (operative word is "try" because the whole family loves eating out and chains are often more kid-friendly that local places, though I'm not sure why). I just want to know what goes into those Bertucci's rolls!

Non-Scale Victory

I bought summer shirts this weekend, realizing I was too warm on these spring days in my turtlenecks and having nothing leftover from last summer that would do (it's amazing how stained my clothes get!). And the shirts were a size smaller than last year! Now, they're a tad tighter than I like, but then I know I wear my clothes too lose most of the time anyway. And I'm hoping they won't be tight for long. Because I'm really aiming for a scale victory in the next few weeks: 5% of my body weight gone! Keeping positive, trying to keep on track.

Milestone Celebration

Today, I passed a particular weight loss milestone that has haunted me for awhile--I finally got out of a particular "decade!" Add to that, I'm just a bit away from having lost 5% of my body weight. And I am so excited! So, I promised myself that I would buy a few books as a reward if I got where I am. Of course, ironically, I'm sure I'll be buying cookbooks!