Four Poems for Times of Worry and Sadness

These four poems, which appeared in my FB feed this week, have comforted me in the wake of Paris and the like.   The first one, especially, appeared repeatedly on FB, but only form the line "I've been praying," which misses the whole context but still got exactly to the point.

what they did yesterday afternoon 

by Warsan Shire

they set my aunts house on fire

i cried the way women on tv do

folding at the middle

like a five pound note.

i called the boy who use to love me 

tried to ‘okay’ my voice

i said hello

he said warsan, what’s wrong, what’s happened?

i’ve been praying,

and these are what my prayers look like;

dear god

i come from two countries

one is thirsty

the other is on fire

both need water.

later that night

i held an atlas in my lap

ran my fingers across the whole world

and whispered

where does it hurt?

it answered 

everywhere

everywhere

everywhere.

I Worried 

by Mary Oliver

I worried a lot.  Will the garden grow, will the rivers

flow in the right direction, will the earth turn

as it was taught, and if not how shall

I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,

can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows

can do it and I am, well,

hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,

am I going to get rheumatism,

lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.

And gave it up.  And took my old body

and went out into the morning,

and sang.

The Peace of Wild Things 

by Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me 

and I wake in the night at the least sound 

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, 

I go and lie down where the wood drake 

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. 

I come into the peace of wild things 

who do not tax their lives with forethought 

of grief. I come into the presence of still water. 

And I feel above me the day-blind stars 

waiting with their light. For a time 

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Clearing
by Martha Postlewaite

Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worthy of rescue.

A Difficult Conversation

We told the kids this morning, wanting to talk to them first before they heard it from others. Bud's first question: Does that mean 20 moms were waiting at home and their kids didn't come? 

Sob. 

But we hugged and reassured and said they could ask us anything and it was okay to be sad. Because, I said, all the adults in the whole country are sad this morning.

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Resources for talking to children about the shooting in Newtown, CT:

• Tips for Talking to Children about the Shooting and Resources:  Talking and Teaching about the Shootings in Newtown, CT, NYTimes--good solid intro, the latter with several resources culled from numerous tragic events
• How Not to Talk with Children about the Sandy Hook Shooting, NYTimes Motherlode--I especially liked the worried thought/brave thought
• Talking with Children about News, PBS.org--this has great age-related suggestions
• Helping Children Cope after a Shooting, National Children's Medical Center--a helpful pdf
• Coping with a Traumatic Event, Center for Disease Control--practical tips for routine and normalcy
• A National Tragedy:  Helping Children Cope, National Association of School Psychologists--great, long lists of suggestions
• Helping Children Cope with Tragedy-Related Anxiety, Mental Health America--tips broken down by age
• How to Talk to Your Children about the Shootings, MSNBC--shares National Mental Health Association's suggestions
• After the Tragedy:  Helping Young Children Heal--Early Trauma Treatment Network
• Parent-Teacher Tips for Helping Preschool Age and School Age Children, National Traumatic Child Traumatic Stress Nework