Stomaching This

All the tests have come back negative:  I don't have celiac disease, Crohn's, a build-up of unwelcome bacteria in my gut, or anything else abnormal.

Which means that the discomfort and difficulties that have increased since my surgery are most likely due to a return of inflammatory bowel disease, IBS, whatever you like to call it.  I've had it since childhood but mostly had it licked in the last ten years or so, mostly due to my vegetarian diet.

But not anymore.  I can literally not stomach beans, cabbage, broccoli, tofu, or many of my usual staples.

And so the GI doctor has put me on a very restricted diet, called FODMAPS, which removes 6 major food carbohydrates from my intake--wheat, dairy, soy, and a whole host of fruits and vegetables (besides all legumes, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and the like, I can't have any stone fruit, apples, avocados, onions garlic, mushrooms,and a whole host of other odd fruits and veg.)  The list is impossible to keep track of without the two long lists taped to my fridge and the new app on my phone (I also got a few new cookbooks, such as they are.)  Oddly, I find losing onions and garlic the hardest part so far!  I can even get a mocha frappuccino with coconut milk once in awhile.

I'm supposed to follow that for three months and check back with him.  It is possible that I can add one or more of the chemicals from the acronym back to my diet, but I doubt I'll get all of them.  And I've felt so crummy that I'm not even really upset about it.  Sure, it's been a rough two weeks adapting to it, both mentally and physically, and I do miss many of my favorite things--I'm variously resigned, aggravated, overwhelmed, sad, grumpy, willing--but I don't like feeling sick and being indisposed, and there are so many GF and DF substitutes on the market.  It is cutting into our eating out, but we have located some places that will work.  And I still get tea, coffee, rice, potatoes . . . and, well, lots of meat.  The doctor said no vegetarianism for the present--it would be too challenging without the beans, tofu, and nuts I relied on.

And it could be worse.

Mama and the kids are being great about it.

And the kids at least are glad I'm not cooking any beans.

Blessing the Hands

"Clearing" by Martha Postlewait
Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create a clearing
in the dense forest of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worthy of rescue.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Today was our annual hospice volunteer luncheon, which is always a fun and touching event.   And I was so excited to go--I made it the whole time!! This is huge because I haven't eaten in a restaurant--in uncomfortable chairs!--since my surgery.  And you know how I love eating in different restaurants.  I also haven't seen my hospice friends since March either, so it was good to see them.  It gets lonely at home by myself.

It was a lovely event, with a special blessing of the hands that the chaplain performed. "May your hands be blessed as you offer compassionate care to those that you touch," she said.  Actually, we perform it on each other, saying a blessing or a wish for the person next to us as he or she dips fingers in the basin.   "In this work, may you be a comfort to others and, when you are in need, may you be comforted," I said to the person next to me.  The person on my other side wished me healing and a full life.  

And we ate great food!  It's so much nicer not to be a vegetarian at these events--pasta is usually the phoned-in dish.  But the rest of it was delicious.  (I do feel the pull of vegetarianism strongly, but it will probably just be a larger percentage, not total.)  There were also cake pops, as there always are at our gatherings; someone in the office makes them--and I get sent home with extras for the kids!

All the volunteers received nice swag--both volunteer appreciation bags with candy and pens and such, and things with our company logo on it (an insulated lunchbox--last year was a picnic blanket--we are part of a multi-state corporation that provides hospice; they are required by federal law to have a volunteer corps--it's a nice change from non-profits sometimes!  We eat better.)--and were recognized for our work.  The daughter of a former patient gave a moving speech about how our hospice team helped with her mother's dying.  It was a nice addition to hear from a family member, especially since we have no contact with the family after the death (that's the bereavement team.)

I love this work and I really like my team.  Today was extra-special because of these last few months.  It's nice to be a volunteer again, and not a patient!!!

(Though, thankfully, not anywhere near a hospice patient in March.)

-=-=-=-=-=-

Blessed be the hands that have touched life.
Blessed be the hands that have nurtured creativity.
Blessed be the hands that have held pain.
Blessed be the hands that have embraced with passion.
Blessed be the hands that have closed in anger.
Blessed be the hands that have planted new seeds.
Blessed be the hands that have harvested ripe fields.
Blessed be the hands that have cleaned, washed, and scrubbed.
Blessed be the hands that have become wrinkled with years.
Blessed be the hands that are scarred from doing justice.
Blessed be the hands that have reached out and been received.
Blessed be the hands that feed those who are hungry.
Blessed be the hands that comfort the dying and touch the dead.
Blessed be the hands that greet strangers.
Blessed be the hands that guide the young.

Blessed be these hands.

Progress

No painkillers on Sunday!

Surgeon says things look good, even with shrinking the granuloma that grew in the scar, which we're treating with silver nitrate (or was that nitrite?)  I've switched from Vicodin to Tramadol, which I think is progress.  I am not sure I'd need them much at all but the terrible allergy season has me coughing and sneezing, which causes lots of discomfort, even with pillows or my brace (and allergy meds, which yes, I cross-checked with the pharmacist.)  And I'm allowed to start PT.

I just went driving!  I hadn't had any painkillers yet so I drove around town a bit, even grabbed a fast food lunch, about 20+ minutes in all.  YAY!  It was more comfortable than last time and I still don't need any pills.

All Fours

All four cats have been very attentive, sitting on my lap at almost any chance.  The warm purring heaps of fur are very healing.

Mr. P

Mojito (aka Mo-cheetos or Mochi Toes)

Albus

Hermione, who does it her way and sits near me instead of on me.

Cooking Again

I'm cooking again!

Last night, I put together a really wonderful chicken tortellini soup.  In fact, because of a happy accident, it was better than I supposed.  See, there was frozen homemade stock in the fridge and I used that.  But it smelled like bacon.  I was worried that it was somehow chicken stock that had gone off, but serendipitously it was smoked ham stock from earlier this year, as Sis reminded me.  Mama had been saving it for some homemade Chinese soup, so I feel bad about using it, but it was delicious.  The soup turned out to be this bacony, chicken, cheesy tortellini thing with a smattering of kale.  Lovely!  And completely un-reproduceable unless we buy another fancy smoked ham.  Makes my regular chicken tortellini soup (just chicken cooked in broth, plus frozen tortellini and any frozen veg and seasonings you like) seem kinda boring now.

Today, I'm trying my first eMeals recipe.  It's similar to one a friend brought recently but made in the slow cooker instead of sauteed on the stove.  Sis is especially excited because cheesy or creamy sauces like Alfredo are some of her favorites.

I feel very accomplished.

UPDATE:  We really liked this--the kids inhaled it!  And there is barely a single serving left.  We ate it with pasta.

-=-=-=-=-=-=

Creamy Parmesan Chicken in Slow Cooker
2½ lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1½ Tbsp Montreal chicken seasoning (not sure what this is, so I used seasoned salt, garlic powder, some Italian herbs)
3 green onions, sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
1 (8-oz) container sour cream
1 cup freshly shredded Parmesan cheese

Pound chicken to an even thickness, and sprinkle with seasoning. Place in a greased 5- to 6-quart slow cooker. Add green onions and garlic; pour in broth. Cover and cook on LOW 7 to 8 hours. Remove chicken from slow cooker, reserving liquid in slow cooker; shred chicken--use half and save half for something else.  Whisk sour cream into mixture in slow cooker. Stir in Parmesan and remaining shredded chicken.

emeals