Back in the Swing

I find I remember things better when I write them down and that I can find what I write down if I put it in this blog, like recipes or games for Girl Scouts or crocheting patterns.

So here's another list, of my Pilates exercises, which I imagine you'll just want to skip right over; go ahead, I just need them somewhere so I can have them handy.  I went back today, after a hiatus, and freshened my memory of all my moves.  I don't have much body memory for such things so it was good to revisit it.  My instructor said I looked good, which was nice to hear since I've had aches and pains since Memorial Day and I haven't been as comfortable moving (actually, she thinks this stiffness/tightness is good because it's a balance against my "loosy-goosy" hypermobility.)  So, it was good to get back in the swing of things, with these:

1. Piriformis stretch--leg bent perpendicular to body and pressed forward with other leg
2. Laying-down "schlump"--touch small of lower back to surface in reclining position 
3. Knee squeeze, using yoga block between bent knees
4. Yoga Block Press--press block between bent knees, then lift butt off surface in reclining position (anchor with big toes!  lead with butt!)
5. Pelvic Tilt or Bridge--similar to #4, but without block
6. Leg lifts--with one knee bent
7. Upper Body Crunch--flatten abdomen (think of pulling it down and in) and do small crunch with hands behind head
8. Sitting up "Schlump"--roll back into a slump and come up
9. Sitting Yoga Block Squeeze--with block between kneeds
10. Piriformis sit, or the "guy sit," one leg crossed
11. Standing "schlump"--up and down like a pull-string stick figure
12. All-fours push against floor (for core)
13. Wall push, in lunge position (also for core)
14. Alternating hands wall "dance" (ditto)

You should see all he little drawings!  I think all PTs etc take the same stick-figure drawing course.

Another POV

I had clarity and insight today, in a flash, while at Pilates.

"You will get hurt again," my coach told me.

And she's right.

Really.  I was injured twice in the span of 8 months, after less debilitating episodes at varying intervals.  My back will hurt again.

All this time, my goal, our goal, was for me to avoid reinjury and repeat pain at almost any cost.  Even if that cost unwittingly led to decreased activity, mobility, sociability, and even, unknown to us, the greater risk of reinjury.

It was the wrong goal.

A better goal would be for me to get stronger so future injuries are less common and less limiting and recovery is quicker.  Even if in the meantime it means anxiety, discomfort, and even some increased risk.  And more exercise and movement and attention to the physical, which I've always avoided and seen as punishment (because it has been so hard my entire life; even something as simple as walking has always been an exhausting chore, the physical, structural, bio-mechanical from-birth/early childhood reasons for which I understand so much better now).

Amazing how and when inspiration (and rationality) strikes.  It puts everything in a whole new perspective.

Even if I'm pretty sure that doesn't make anything easier.

-=-=-=-=-

After an email from Lambeth, I should clarify:  it's not that I'm not doing my stretches and exercises, just that I stop when there is discomfort.  Now I understand that I need to keep going unless it's severe, sharp, or longlasting--actual pain--not just stopping at the first twinges.

The Next Journey

I'm starting therapeutic or restorative Pilates to strengthen myself (in addition to twice weekly PT still), going to my first one-on-one appointment yesterday.  The woman (coach?  teacher?  I'm not sure what she would be) was supportive, gentle, encouraging, slow, personable (we talked kids and partners; yep, she's "family").  I practiced simple things--standing, lifting my leg, even just breathing.  But it was so much work that I'm still achy today.  And I've got a long way to go, even though I've come so far, but I'm sure it's what I need to do next.