So, the day 1 doesn't indicate the first day of the virus in my state or the first day of our social distancing; more, it means the first day that I'm blogging about it. I haven't blogged in a few months--busy with the new term for me. I'm carrying 12 hours this term, though three of those were completed during an intensive. Also busy because Sis dislocated her knee cap in January and there were lots of days of physical therapy and rides and pick ups for school.
Now it's March, almost April. Mama has been working at home for weeks. My school went online. Both of the kids have been at home and distance learning for a week. We're pretty much on lockdown, well, social-distancing, because of so many cases in the area. We've been to the grocery store--we have enough toilet paper, which is a joke that has become tiresome. Sis and Mama go to the barn to see Patience, the horse, but, otherwise, we're staying pretty isolated.
And it's been ok. We spent the weekdays doing our work. The kids finish first, in less than a few hours, but Mama pretty much works all day. I'm somewhere in between. We wake up at separate times and don't coordinate breakfast or lunch. We have had dinner together every night. Later than usual, though, because we're staying up later. I'd say we're all getting more sleep.
The main disappointment--because we don't yet know anyone who is sick--is all the cancellations. Field trips, after-school clubs (Amnesty International, Yearbook, vet practice), an orchestra trip to DC, dance competitions, dance and kung fu classes, orchestra concert. Maybe (probably) our BTS concert on Memorial Day weekend. And then there are all the camps that probably won't happen, including Bud's trip to LA for dance convention (for which he'd won a scholarship.) It's big. And a lot. But certainly, we're keeping that in perspective. We really that we are actually saving lives by staying home.
And we're trying to keep it interesting. We watched some of the streaming Met Opera La Boheme. We watched the Indigo Girls livestream concert. Bud and I took a yoga class online. He's got dance classes online. I've zoomed with my class and am part of a church social phone tree. I have watched various worship services online; tomorrow I hope to participate in a meditation session. We chalked our walk yesterday to send positive messages to all the people walking around. And, yes, there are more of them. Mama and the kids rode bikes and scooters. I've texted, called, emailed, and direct messaged several friends and many people I only run into casually; it's been nice to catch up. We're all mostly ok. And we're sharing ideas.
My school. First, the hardest part was when the administration had to send the international students home with little warning. Yes, my classmate and friend--let's call her Bleu after her favorite color--was sent home. We had so many plans for the rest of the term; she was even coming for a full Easter weekend celebration--with decorating eggs and baskets, a big meal, meeting our horse, sightseeing locally. And instead I raced up to Hartford to spend a few hours before she had to leave. It was sad. She did get home safely though. But, because hers was a one-year program, she won't be back.
I try not to let me thoughts race ahead of me. I have pretty well managed to squelch worries about the virus--catching it, being very ill, my family being ill, someone dying. We're doing everything we can. Bigger worries about the economy, the election, the kids' education, the "new normal"--I keep up with the news just enough and try to stay informed but not overwhelmed or too anxious. One day at a time.
Still, the what-ifs are horrifying, both internationally and more locally. And I do believe, at least here, that the worst is yet to come. So many people are ignoring stay-put requests and not social distancing. There are going to be so many infections and it's spreading between people before they even know they are sick. The US will be more like Italy than like China in keeping it under control. So, where is the patriotism? Wouldn't the saving of Americans and helping to return us to a functioning society and economy as soon as possible be the most patriotic act? Civic responsibility. I just don't understand it. The White House occupant and that news channel don't help, but that can't be the only reason people aren't taking this more seriously, can it? Lack of respect for science? American exceptionalism? Individualism? Suspicious of authority and experts and "academic elites?" I just can't fathom it.
In my Theologies of Chaplaincy class, we've been discussing the nature of suffering, theologies surrounding the meaning of suffering, responses to suffering. Sure, compassion and helping others. But, how do you, as a chaplain, help doctors decide whom to treat and save? How do you bring spiritual issues to bear on that? How do you help all the frontline and essential workers not suffer or experience moral injury through the choices they're forced to make? Dr. Goo is on the frontline at the hospital; my sister is a nurse at another. My brother-in-law manages a grocery department and has been very busy. They are all overwhelmed, exhausted, and know it will get worse before it gets better. How do I support them?
I'm not going into hospice right now because volunteers have been banned. But what if I were already a paid chaplain, I'd be on the frontline, too. Could I handle that? Isn't that what I'm called to do, not just when it is easy and safe, but when I am most needed? I think of people dying without loved ones around in Italy and China and elsewhere . . . and it's here, too. But I think I'm partially relieved that I can stay home and not take the chances, not see some of the suffering. And I'm ashamed of that somewhat. I haven't found how I can help, beyond just staying home.
Take care out there.
May we all be well.
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