My WW meeting before I left for the wedding was one of the most motivational ever. The leader talked about how we all struggle and we need to reconnect with our motivations and to find new ones when we falter. Several people in the meeting are in the same boat with me, several of my friends are where I am, having gotten off track and trying to find our ways back.
See, I'm back to the weight I was 1 1/2 years ago (though the last shreds of pride require me to say that I'm still significantly below my highest weight). This is not only depressing but embarrassing.
But I'm not going to quit. The habits and attitudes that got me to this place took a lifetime to build and will take awhile to dismantle. They are resilient and come back when I'm not vigilant. I can be resilient too--I mean, I stayed a vegetarian (though not a very strict one; I know there is animal lard in refried beans) in Texas with BBQ and fajitas and chicken fried steak all around me. And I found a new motivation. We went swimming several times over the course of the trip and, each time that I would happily immerse myself in the gravity-defying water, I would eventually have to get out again. And there, in microcosm, was the history of my weight gain--I could feel every ounce as I rose up out of the pool. It certainly brought home to me what it means to be overweight.
So, I'm here to say, again, for the umpteenth time in this blog and more than that in my life, that I'm trying again.
Though, in typing that, I am reminded of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no 'try.'"
Time to do it. Again.
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