The Welcome Mat

It was a good day; it was a not-good day.  I had friends over; I had extra aches and pains.  The friends were great fun, gathering for a moms' morning coffee similar to our playgroup mornings of old.  The discomfort came on gradually in the morning and increased, spasms in my glutes and tightness all around.  The weather?  My cycle?  Just because?  Who knows.  (Not any of my specialists, that's for sure.)

And so instead of going to Daisies this afternoon, I stayed in bed crying and trying to regain some of my usual equilibrium (realizing that my mental suffering about the physical pain was the real problem here, but it had been awhile since I'd had a day like this and it was like an unexpected punch in the gut), while Mama took Sis (and Bud) and pinch hit for me in making chocolate-covered pretzels with the troop.  Curled up in bed, stressing about missing Daisies and worrying about messing up our upcoming plans and fretting over how I felt, I listened to a CD I'd gotten a few weeks ago, Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief.  After taking my go-to meds.  Of course, I know some mindfulness techniques for addressing pain, such as those from How to Be Sick, but I was really rather hoping that the soothing calm of Jon Kabat-Zinn's voice would help put me to sleep.  And it did, little bits at a time (valium helps).

I liked the CD:  the notion of rolling out the welcome mat for "intense sensations" because, well, they're already there; realizing that if you are breathing, more is right with your body than wrong (perspective, no?); conceiving of pain by another phrase, like "intense sensation," can lessen its hold on you; the statement "your awareness of pain is not in pain; your awareness of sadness is not sad."  There were also the familiar breathing exercises and body scan from Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), but also an exercise where you embrace yourself with loving kindness, including your fears and thoughts.  There's more, but I wasn't taking notes.

Yep, it's Buddhism in secular robes, made more accessible to the American masses.  And like my Buddhist practices, it works.  Even on more challenging days like these.

And, yes, I'm feeling better already.