Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Strike Three?

Double Whammy:  Bud tested positive for strep, too (on top of the flu B).  His fever is going up and we're off to the nighttime pharmacy.

Strike Two

Sis awoke late feeling congested and fatigued, begging to go back to bed.  She doesn't have a fever--yet--but she is home today as we wait and watch for it.

Otherwise, Bud's fever is low-grade, though that's still with meds, and he felt perkier this morning.  I imagine it will be a couple more days at home though.

Stay well, blog friends!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Flu

It's the flu.  Strain B.  So Bud is at home for the rest of the week, probably, and Sis no doubt soon to follow.  Actually, I'm considering just keeping her home to help stopper the contagion at school.

But it makes me want to ring the neck of the clinic doctor who refused my three requests to swab for flu yesterday.  He kept telling me it wasn't flu; there were no signs.  Instead, he did a strep test--not the rapid one, "too many false positives"!!!--and gave us an antibiotic.  Asshole.  The boy had no sore throat and only a little redness.  Just high fever, chills, and headaches.

So it's fluids and rest all week.  Luckily we made chicken noodle soup yesterday.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Thoughts and Prayers


Please keep Mama's grandfather, known to our kids as Lao Gong ("old grandfather") in your thoughts and prayers.  He has developed an infection following surgery, possibly pneumonia, and is in the ICU in Bangkok.

Also please keep in mind my beloved Aunt Sis, who fell in the week after Christmas and broke her hip; this after two years of health challenges.  She is still in the hospital following surgery.

Breathe In

I'm practicing Brahma Viharas at home today instead of Sharon Salzberg's meditation retreat, which is unfortunately too far away for me to drive myself yet.  Bud woke up with a 102F fever, possibly strep (the doctor at the clinic refused my three requests to swab for flu and just gave us an antibiotic prescription instead; we'll go see our pediatrician tomorrow). Which also means no school for a few days. I hope he feels better soon (he looks and feels awful) . . . and that no one else gets it. Breathe in, breathe out.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Lost and Found

Bud's school folder has been missing for days and he swore it was in Mama's car from kung fu. Well, I found it in the basement of all places today and devised a scavenger hunt for him to find it. You won't be surprised that it took him 3--THREE!!--searches of the basement to find the folder hiding right there in the middle of the floor! And then he brought it upstairs . . . and left it in the middle of the floor.  Even though part of the scavenger hunt--with clues spread throughout the house--indicated the place where his folder and backpack should be stored.  I can't decide if I made misplacing things too much fun.  And I will refrain from making stereotypes based on gender, even if all my mom friends swear it's nature and true; somedays I definitely believe them.

Sending Out Love

Two people in my extended circles have lost parents in the last few days.  I send my love to Diane in Chicago, on the loss of her father, and to Bonnie, in Texas, on the loss of her mother.

Stop!

"Mom, why does it say 'in the name of love' on the stop sign?" Sis asked recently.

I sang a bit of the song, but you could tell that wasn't quite enough.

Then, at Disney on Ice--or was it watching Cars with them the first time--we heard another Supremes song.

The next time we were downstairs, Mama searched the iPod and lo, and behold! we had a Supremes greatest hits collection.  Soon we were playing "Stop in the Name of Love," "Baby Love," "Come See About Me," "Stoned Love," "You Can't Hurry Love," "You Keep Me Hanging On" (which they recognized from "Glee"), "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" (though, that might me Diana Ross alone).  And dancing all around the living room.

Now, Bud asks for "Stop in the Name of Love" every morning.

If only I could remember where we saw that stop sign so we could go back again . . . . (I bet Sis remembers!)

TGIF

Just sitting here, me and my continued sinus pressure.  I had hoped the third antibiotic and steroids would help.  We'll see, but I'll be seeing my ENT . . . when he gets back from vacation.

And then there was the swollen leg/blood clot scare (no worries, just some swelling and a bruise; ultrasound gives me the ok), navigating the new security policies for school access for our Brownie meetings, and exhibiting and getting all the paperwork for our art contest (mostly, and it took 3 hours yesterday) done.

Otherwise, or because of all that, I'm glad it's the weekend.  We have a puzzle to do tonight and Beloved Babysitter is coming later so Mama and I can see Les Miserables.

Barring aphorisms of sailors and the weather, how could today not be good, when it started like this?


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Saving Time

We have a new system here at the Hungry household for doling out much-coveted screen time:  the kids earn 30-minute increments of screen time by being outside for 30 minutes.  That doesn't mean they can cash in their earnings anytime, only that when they are given the opportunity for screen time they have to pay for it.  If they haven't been outside during the week, they won't have anything banked for screen time on the weekend (we only allow screen time on the weekends, unless unusual circumstances arise).  This would not apply to family viewings or activities, i.e. they don't have to "pay" for our Saturday movie afternoons.  We just wanted both a way to encourage them to go outside (they enjoy being outside, but they're usually resistant to the actual transition to going outside, having fun once they get there; often they just stay outside after school but the chill has been chasing them in immediately) and a way to emphasize that screen time wasn't a given. We haven't decided if their earnings can be removed for consequences--if you hit your sibling, do I take away 30 minutes of screen time that you had already earned?  I don't like taking away earnings, but it's one of the only things they value and is a privilege not a right.  When we just say we're going to take away screen time on the weekend, with the consequence coming sometimes days later than the inappropriate behavior, we forget or it loses its efficacy.  This way it is immediate and tangible.  I don't want the 30-minute tickets to become bargaining tools--they earn them only for going outside, not for chores or anything else--or punishment, though.  Hopefully, it's very straightforward (and I imagine I won't be taking any away; we'll see, but they've been testy and testing recently).

Now, the big trick is:  do adults have the same restrictions?  I surf constantly, usually on my smartphone, to the point that I sometimes don't even realize I'm doing it. I restrict it when the kids are around, but it still sucks up time.  What if I earn surfing time not from being outdoors but from being on my treadmill?  That's incentive.  But am I honest or disciplined enough to conform to it?  It wouldn't cover "work" emails--for Girl Scouts, Reflections art contest, historic house volunteer work (an update on that soon!), or hospice work--or probably even blogging which is a specific activity with clear boundaries for me, but for Pinterest, FB, weather sites, random readings of the paper and other sites.  To help break the habit, I've been keeping my smartphone in my purse.  I don't need it out when I'm home, really only needing it for outings; otherwise, I have a computer and telephone here.

It's not exactly our New Year's Resolution, just a way to navigate computers and outdoors here at the least outdoor-appealing time of year.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Geese

It's not a pretty picture, but I wanted to record that we've had untold numbers of honking geese overhead the last few days.  These are just some of this morning's.


Monday, January 7, 2013

A Different Number

26.

The number of victims at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown.

26 angels inspiring 26 acts of kindness.

Except there were 28 souls lost that day.

Because I count the mother of the shooter and even the shooter himself.

After much reflection and some passage of time, I wanted to post about the number 26 and the other two.  Of course, I am not a family member of any of the victims and would totally understand and respect if they couldn't bear to mention their loved ones in the same breath as the shooter.  Just as families of victims at Columbine, Aurora, Virginia Tech, even Oklahoma City and September 11 focus on the lost innocents and not the criminal perpetrators, so it is right that the families of Newtown do, too.

But I am speaking of and to those of us who are unrelated bystanders, witnesses you may say, of this tragedy, for whom this loss while intense and painful is not personal.  For it is we who are spared the emotional trauma of the shocking loss of a loved one, we who have the distance from the tragedy needed to reflect upon it at large.  As a religious person, following the principles of Unitarian Universalism which focus on the inherent worth and dignity of all people as well as the inter-connectedness of all life, I cannot forget the shooter or his mother.  And while the majority of my thoughts and prayers and tears are with and for the lost first graders and their teachers and all of their families, friends, and community, as well as with the first responders, I have also been thinking of the other two.

I cannot blame the shooter's mother for her own death nor for the actions of her son, even if the guns were hers and she knew of his mental health challenges.  As for her son, about whom I know very little, I do recognize how he must have been so alienated from the human community and from his own worth and dignity to take the lives of children, teachers, his mother, and himself.   While this in no way explains, excuses, or condones his actions, it allows me to feel compassion for him and for her and for their family and friends.

And compassion is what we need right now, for the victims, the survivors, and ourselves, as we begin to heal and especially as we begin to engage with the issues that contributed to this tragedy such as gun control and mental health treatment.   Separating the shooter and his mother as the "other," as evil, as undeserving of compassion, even as somehow inhuman, only serves to create an illusion of safety, albeit one that we, especially parents, would very much like to embrace right now.  If he is an example of evil, we can condemn, hate, even erase him.  Then we do not have to address the very human circumstances, within all of us to some degree, that led to this tragedy; we do not have to recognize or admit our own complicity in this violence, however minimal or indirect via gun and healthcare laws, media and culture, etc.

But it is through compassion for all of the lost souls, all 28 of them that day, that we as both individuals and as a society will perhaps come one step closer to healing from this tragedy and to preventing another similar one.






Friday Night Ice

On Friday night, we trooped--with the Brownies--to Disney on Ice, our first time at that show.  It was crowded and chaotic, swarming with young children and things to buy.  We had great seats, rink-side, and could see everything, from the ice-skating Cars to the flying fairies.  The fairies were my favorite; Sis thought so, too. We all liked Toy Story--laughing at dancing Hamm and admiring Jesse's lanky moves (Bud did not like that Barbie ripped up Ken's clothes, though; he thought it was mean, even under the circumstances)--but Sis thought it was too long.  They were a bit confused about the appearance of an undersea set, not sure if it were Nemo or Little Mermaid, even with "Under the Sea" playing.  Clearly, we're not quite ready for Disney World!  But we were a very enthusiastic audience, sipping slushies and eating cotton candy while smiling and even waving at the skaters.  I definitely admired the athleticism and artistry of the skaters, who demonstrated some of their jumps and spins in a post-show technical explanation.

Choose Love

We were driving on the interstate the other day and Bud noticed the striking green-and-white, "We are Sandy Hook/We Choose Love" billboard.  He wanted to know what the sign meant so we discussed love, respect, compassion versus anger, hate, and violence.  We also talked specifically about compassion not only for the victims but also for the shooter and his mother.

To change the topic somewhat, I mentioned that the surviving students of Sandy Hook, all 400+ of them, were now back in school at a new place.  Bud thought on this a bit and asked, "Does that mean there are no kindergartners at their school now?"

Oh.

How does he get right to the heart of it every time?

I'd forgotten we'd thought many of the deceased were kindergartners.  I told him there were some survivors in first grade . . . but what else can you say?


Third's a Charm

After feeling stuffy on Friday, I went to the doctor again this morning.  Yep, sinus congestion is back.  And I'm on another antibiotic, my third.  Plus steroids to see if I can beat this thing.  As well as Nasonex and Mucinex.  Not sure if it's a cold or allergies that keep popping up, but we'll see if we can squelch it and find the source.

On a good note:  I'm home watching last night's "Downton Abbey" episode!  And I do feel much better than last time.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Special Days

I never know how these conversations get started, but at dinner the other night, the kids were asking about our anniversary.  This is never a simple matter because we have several to choose from:

  • the day in June 1994 that we met
  • the day in August 1997 when we became a couple (the date on the calendar in the kitchen)
  • the day in November 2001 that we signed official domestic partner papers in NYC
  • the day in October 2005 when we celebrated our civil union
  • the day in December 2008 when we legally got married in Connecticut (the date on the wooden box Mama gave me as a wedding present)
There's another date, when we had friends witness some legal papers that cemented our connection, but I can't recall that one, but it predated 2001.

Anyway, about every three or four years for almost the last two decades, we can point to a date!  

So we had to explain to the kids--again--why we have so many dates and why we didn't get married in 1997, 2001, or 2005.  They have trouble comprehending "illegal."  And they still don't fully appreciate, despite our repeated assertions, how lucky we are that we can marry even now in Connecticut.  And we haven't stressed that we are only married in CT and not federally (they wouldn't understand how this costs us thousands of dollars in taxes a year), though we mention it occasionally.

The unique moment in this specific conversation was Sis's memory of our wedding in 2008. 
 
"Wait, I remember that!  I was there!"

"Yes, you were there.  Not many kids were at their parents' wedding."

And Bud chimed it, "Cool. We were at your wedding!"

I'd say that's an unexpected perq of the challenges of same-sex marriage in this country.

A Budding Greek Scholar

Bud came home from school earlier this week saying he was learning Greek!

Imagine my surprise that this was in the second-grade curriculum.

He went on to explain that he was doing the "older student" level on Lexia, the school's computerized reading program and it was teaching him Greek root words:  tech, psych, tele, bio, chrono, and so forth.

Rarely getting the opportunity to put my eight college semesters of ancient Greek to use these days, I whipped out a pen and paper to show him how the Greeks wrote those words.  A mini-Greek lesson ensued, as I wrote those words in Greek, and both of their names, then changed the first lines of the Iliad in the original and ended with my favorite quote:


tis de bios; ti de terpnon;
ater cruses Afrodiths.


What is life?  What is love?  Without golden Aphrodite . . . .

I was rusty, but they didn't know.  And we all had fun.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Christmas Turtle Strikes Again!

It's been a few years since we've had a visit from the Christmas Turtle, but he (she?) came today!  Sis found a bag with a present in it under the tree, which we know wasn't there earlier because we've cleaned up all the Christmas gifts and decorations except the tree and ornaments.  Of course, she's the one who spotted it--Miss Eagle Eyes--though it must have been there since before they got home from school.  Maybe he came while I was at Pilates?  Or coffee with Miss S?

Anyway, it was the Disney edition of Headbanz, the Q&A guessing game.  Sis immediately broke out the mouse ears and passed them around so we could play a few rounds before Bud had to go to kung fu.  We're not the most up-to-date family on Disney movies, so we allowed some extra hints.  I guess the Turtle knows we're going to Disney World later this year.  It was fun . . . and silly.  And hard!  Try guessing "glass slipper" from yes or no questions.

Bud and Mama headed off, but Sis and I kept playing for another hour.  An hour!  Curled up together on the couch, we took turns guessing.  If it were a movie she hadn't seen, like all the Cinderella clues, I gave her another one.  She let me slide with guesses like "that turtle in Nemo" and "the big monster in Monsters, Inc."    My more Disney-savvy friends would have laughed (and I would have said I knew Disney pretty well, but I guess we just don't watch them over and over).

Well, at least we'll be more prepared for the Magic Kingdom!  Thanks, Christmas Turtle!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Holiday Recipes, 2012

I neglected to post the recipes we used this holiday season, so I'm including them all here.

Enjoy!

A New Orleans Christmas


Shrimp Remoulade
We eat this every Christmas Eve when we get back from looking at lights; it’s a tradition from Mom’s family. Dad always wonders why we don’t eat it on other days. I didn’t like it much as a child but it is a tradition and it’s growing on me.

4 tablespoons lemon juice
4 tablespoons vinegar
4 tablespoons prepared mustard (French’s)
2 teaspoons horseradish
2 teaspoons salt
½ teaspoons pepper (dark, cayenne)
2 tablespoons ketchup
1 cup salad oil
½ cup finely chopped celery
½ cup finely chopped green onions
2 –3 quarts cooked and peeled shrimp

Combine first 8 ingredients. Gradually add oil, beating with beater. Add shrimp, celery, and onion. Chill. Serve on shredded lettuce with crackers.

Mom


Muffaletas/Muffuletta/Muffalatta (who knows?!)
Very similar to those at Central Grocery, which I remember eating on our trips to New Orleans.

Combine:
1 jar salad olives, drained
1 jar cocktail onions, drained
4 cloves garlic, minced
celery—chopped fine
Bread
meats (cheap lunchmeats--ham, bologna,salami)
mozzarella cheese

Bake at 350°F until brown and cheese melts.


Chicken and Sausage Gumbo
I didn’t really love gumbo when I was younger but it has certainly grown on me now. So, for the first time, the night before the crash of Flight 587, I made gumbo, based on my mom’s recipes and my New Orleans cooking school class notes. And you don’t really need Andouille sausage—just any smoked sausage. Note: My mom adds a can of diced tomatoes; I don't.

4-5 chicken breasts
½ cup flour
½ cup oil
2 large onions chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
2 lbs. sausage
6-8 cups chicken stock
5 cloves garlic, minced
2 bay leaves
2 tablespoons Tony’s (approximately)

Saute sausage medallions. Saute onions, celery, pepper in sausage grease.
Make roux (Mom says you can microwave til brown, stirring after every minute; I tried this to start but then but it in a pot to finish). Add chicken broth. Add onion, celery, pepper, and sausage.
Saute chicken until dry and stringy. Add to pot. Add bay leaf, garlic, Tony’s. Simmer for 2 hours.
Serve over rice. Freezes really well.

Mom


Bread Pudding and Bourbon Sauce
I got this from Southern Living. Mom makes it now for all of her events and gets raves of compliments from real Southern chefs. I usually decrease the number of raisins, which will burn on the bottom if not floured. I know some people insist on adding fruit cocktail; I don't.

3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 ½ cup sugar
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
½ teaspoon nutmeg
¼ cup butter, melted
2 ¾ cup whipping cream
4 cups cubed French bread
¾ cups raisins (or less)

Combine first 4 ingredients. Stir in butter and cream. Gently stir in bread and raisins. Pour in lightly greased 2-quart deep dish. Bake 375°F for 50-55 minutes, shielding with foil after 30 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

Southern Living magazine

Bourbon Sauce

3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon flour
½ cup sugar
1 cup cream (whipping, heavy, half-and-half)
2 (or 1) tablespoons bourbon (or your favorite--rum works well)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon nutmeg

Melt butter in a small saucepan; whisk in flour and cook 5 minutes. Stir in sugar and cream; cook 3 minutes. Stir in bourbon, vanilla, and nutmeg, and simmer 5 minutes.

Family Circle


A Southern New Year

Cornbread
1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour 
3/4 cup Quaker or Aunt Jemima enriched corn meal 
1/4 cup sugar 
2 teaspoons baking powder 
1/2 teaspoon salt 
1 cup skim milk 
1/4 cup vegetable oil 
2 egg whites or 1 egg, beaten 

Put cast iron skillet lightly coated with oil in cold oven and heat to 400 F.  Combine dry ingredients. Stir in milk, oil and egg, mixing just until dry ingredients are moistened. Pour batter into heated pan. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown and wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Serve warm. 9 servings.


Black-Eyed Peas
As tradition goes, you have to eat all your black-eyes on New Year’s. 

1 bag black-eyed peas
1 onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped (optional)
garlic, minced.
salt, pepper 

olive oil

Soak peas overnight in salted water.  In morning, drain and rinse peas. 

Saute onion, optional pepper, and garlic in oil. Add peas. Cover with water (water is double the amount of peas or more). Cook until tender, about 2 1/2 hours.  *Goya's jambon bouillon makes this tasty if you don't use a ham bone.

School Day

School's back in session this morning and, boy, it was soooo cold at the bus stop (our driveway) this morning.  17 degrees, with 11F windchill!!  UGH.  But the kids didn't care and ice skated on the frozen puddles in the driveway.   Not a bad way to start the year!