We've been building up to Valentine's Day, or more specifically the celebration at school, for almost 10 days now. First, we painted hearts on our house in anticipation of the big day. Then we started to make the 17 valentines each kiddo would need for class, including 4 for teachers. We had to start early because no 3 1/2 year old is going to be able to sit down and create 17 cards in one sitting, or even two, or, to be honest, even three. In the end, I made about 5 valentines each, mimicking each child's distinct valentine style: foamies for Sis and doilies with rubber stamps and/or punches for Bud. We even had a practice run, throwing our own Valentine's Day playgroup on Monday, where we decorated bags and exchanged cards (well, we gave out playdough). And swapped the chocolate heart cutout cookies we had made.
And so this morning was the big day. The kiddos took their zipper bag full of valentines--unaddressed for easier and fairer distribution--and a container full of heart cookies to school. Immediately, Bud got that zipper bag open and tried to give Mrs. Director a card to go with her cookies. But passing them out had to wait. I'm sure it was a long day for them.
Just as it had been a long week for us moms. I had been set on us making our valentine's cards because I thought it was a good way to show that we cared, but I might have been overreaching and, well, vain in that my-kids-made-their-cards/we're-too-good-for-storebought-cards kind of way. Since they can't sign their names yet, I didn't want to be the one to choose a store card set, sign their names, and get them ready to give out without any of their own input. They could have, however, signed their letters and colored envelopes and actually chosen the set, which would have involved them and put them imprimatur on the activity. I just hadn't thought of that. Next year. Because, in the end, making that many valentines just ceased to be a pleasurable activity by the third hourlong+ session.
I know other moms gave just as much thought to their Valentine's Day treats. Mama Teacher spent all last Friday, and another evening besides, making cards for her son's class--complete with stamps and punches. And I think there were going to be some treats too, right? Another mom had decided to take corn muffins to her child's celebration but had those vetoed by her husband as not celebratory or appropriate; she was calling me for advice on royal icing and ideas where to find merengue powder (I hope those turned out, Miss J). Lastly, another Miss J was whipping up a batch of chocolate chip cookies for her daughter's class, a new class that the daughter just joined a week ago and so the mom wasn't even sure she had the class list or was supposed to address the cards. We've all been giving this a lot of thought. Heck, even the moms whose kids aren't in school yet were asking questions about the whole thing!
Is it worth it? Well, my kids were thrilled beyond belief, tickled "pinkalicious," to bring those Valentine's Day bags filled with cards and treats home this afternoon. Bud had eaten two lollipops from his stash before we were halfway home. Did they look at the cards? Sure, to color in the coloring pages with the little markers they had gotten. The cards were shiny and glossy, with neat tabs for closing or slots for candy or stickers or pencils--lots of cars and princesses and Thomas--boy, valentines have gotten more sophisticated since those generic, perforated cartoon cards in little envelopes that we had. But there wasn't a single box of Sweethearts! So, progress isn't everything . . . I liked looking at how each child, when they did so, signed his or her name. Something about being able to write their names makes the kiddos seem so grown up. It's such an accomplishment to be able to write your name, to mark ownership, to forge identity. My kids are so proud of writing their first initials--wait til they can write the whole thing!!
I think I had forgotten the magic of the holiday. Mama and I have often made it special for each other, but it is a small, intimate holiday now (even though Mama despises it as an artificial, commercial holiday, but she humors me and plays along). But I remember the sheer delight of choosing valentines, making boxes (aways shoeboxes, I think), getting cards, eating candy--the happiness of the big pile. I never remember any angst of who gave me what and who didn't. And this was before the days of you-must-bring-one-for-everybody. But I think we did. Or if we didn't, I just didn't care. It was just happy. As their teacher said today, there just aren't any expectations so the joy is rather pure and unsullied. Even for those of us moms full of expectations and working behind the scenes to make it happen, I'd say it was worth it.
Happy Valentine's Day!
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