Lessons Learned

Since the Democratic National Convention, I've been thinking about Michelle Obama's speech. Not the general points about her roots or how great a man her husband is, but what she said about lessons:

"And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values: like, you work hard for what you want in life; that your word is your bond; that you do what you say you're going to do; that you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you don't know them and even if you don't agree with them. And Barack and I set out to build lives guided by these values and to pass them onto the next generation, because we want our children -- and all children in this nation -- to know that the only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work hard for them."

It started me thinking: what values was I taught, either explicitly or implicitly? what values do I want to pass on to the kids? And so, in typical fashion, I started a list of things I'd learned (or, at the least, been taught!):

• How to be a good guest and a good hostess (this is important because hospitality is key).
  
• How to listen and to communicate.
  
• Generosity, don't sweat the small change, or "don't talk about money with friends"
  
• Mom's "Bohemian work ethic": work before pleasure (and, by extension, "do it while you're thinking about it" which is why we'd catch her cleaning the fridge if she gone to get a soda to take in the car!)
  
• Dad's work ethic, said to me repeatedly since the kids were born (and I paraphrase): "Suck it up." Which I'll take to mean, do what you have to do and don't complain (or as Mom would put it, "Don't tell me about the labor, just show me the baby.")
• You have to love yourself before you can love others.
• Try anything once, or try new things.
• Live and let live.
• Fight fair (or, Mom's favorite active-listening technique, "send 'I-messages'").
• Friends and family are very important--let them know you love them.
• History is important (from family stories and genealogy to local, regional, national history).

So, not phrased as prettily as Michelle Obama's list (I don't have numerous speech writers), but still a pretty good list. And I try to remember them all (did I forget any that you thought you taught me? That's a good post for you, Mom!)

Thanks, Mom and Dad.