THE Storm in Words

I have been considering for days how best to approach my post about the storm that felled a tree on our house and cars. In the end, I've had to consider why I blog: to relay information to family and friends, to entertain, to express myself, to clarify (for myself) my thoughts and ideas, to record my experiences, impressions, and emotions as they happen. And so how do I relate an experience that encompassed all of my childhood fears of storms that still haunt me in adult nightmares as well as threatened my family and home, even though now it is more of an expensive inconvenience than a real crisis, while at the same time being one of the most profound experiences of friendship I have ever encountered? I have a draft that tells the tale in prose, but I am forced to reconsider that structure, and now, therefore, give it to you in a list, entitled "Things I Learned in THE Storm":

• When the sky turns green and the hail pummels the house, take cover even if you feel like you are overreacting. It's cliche, but better safe than sorry. Because sometimes, Texas storms happen in Connecticut.
• A storm doesn't have to be a tornado to cause damage. Microbursts and straight line winds of 70 mph (hurricanes start at 75 mph) are dangerous too. Friends did see rotating clouds, but there was officially no tornado.
• Mythbusting: According to NOAA, "Forget about the old notion of opening windows to equalize pressure; the tornado will blast open the windows for you!" But it is true that a tornado sounds like a train engine.
• Know where your flashlights are and, once you retrieve them, don't put them down because you won't be able to find them when you need them. And the kids will cry until you do.
• When in doubt, call 911. Especially if there are power lines down. And stay in the house.
• Then call your parents.
• And the insurance company.
• Sure, PDAs are great, as are speed dial and memory in your phone, but keep a hardcopy list of important phone numbers--friends, relatives, doctors, insurance adjustors (including policy numbers), local hotels--for when modern technology and your memory fail. I keep mine over the phone but will also now put a copy in a plastic zipper bag in our emergency tub downstairs.
• Decisions you fret about in advance (i.e. if the cat gets away during an emergency, what would you do?) become simple in reality (let the cat go and get to the basement). Vice versa, though: things you didn't consider in advance will be a challenge (when, when, when do you go to the basement?). Don't worry, both of the cats are fine now (because, in the end, Mama left the basement and fetched the other cat from the second floor. It was, as she calls it, "my stupid hero moment.")
• Centering myself in the moment made it easier to stay calm and reassure the children, but it was hard to stay centered with thoughts swirling in my head about what could have happened and what would have to happen next. And so Buddy and I drew pictures on our chalkboard once we were back upstairs; it made us both feel better.
• When we knew we had to leave the house, I wrote up a list of things to take for Mama to pack and we handed each child a bag to take a few toys to the hotel. The kids took predictable things. Bud had his banjo, trains, and cars. Sis took books and several small plastic toy animals. They both took their Sea World orcas. Our list, besides including clothes, toiletries, and special papers, included our wedding picture, our two baby's first year frames, our computer (and several backup harddrives--this includes all of our pictures, my 3 cookbooks, my dissertation, etc.), and the urn of Morgan's ashes. Everything else in the house was secondary at that point. Since then, it has been a lot easier to clean out the clutter. I might change the list a little but in essence very few things matter.
• If you have pets, know where the pet-friendly hotels are (like Homewood Suites). Not that you'll get any sleep; stiff hotel curtains are great for climbing.
• Friends. I don't even know how to summarize what I learned about friendship, generosity, kindness, support, and love. We have been buoyed by our friends at a time of crisis. Knowing we were not alone, either literally (because several friends and neighbors came by in the hours after the storm, especially two who stayed with us for several hours that night) or figuratively gave us the strength (and car seats and dinner) we needed to get through the night. It was the epitome of radical hospitality and a lesson to us in love and friendship. Yin and yang, with the darkness there is light.
• Frozen pizza, salad, and Girl Scout cookies are real comfort food for me (Chinese take out the next day for Mama).
• Everything really does look better in the morning.
• But take lots of pictures anyway.
• When dealing with insurance companies and contractors, keep one notebook so you have everything you need in one place. If possible, let one person (i.e. Mama) be in charge of all of it.
• Repack your emergency tub when the emergency is over. Ours (kept in the basement next to the tub with all my entertaining stuff) is in disarray, but will finally include juice boxes, water, nonperishable foods, first aid kit, blanket, flashlights, batteries, radio, kitty food/little litter box, copies of special papers, diapers (for now), a change of clothes for all, a little emergency cash, and a few toys. I've heard that used cell phones can still dial 911, if the battery is charged; if we had one, I'd put that in too.
• Even several days after the actual event, we are all still reeling and healing. Be gentle with yourself and others. It's okay to be upset, even if everything did turn out okay.
• The continued "how are you doing?" and "are you okay?" and "what can I do?" are wonderful, even several days out.
• But don't talk too much about it in front of the kids as they will get unnecessarily nervous. I made this mistake today at playgroup and Sis ended up quiet, with Shirt very nearby. We do talk about it, when it's relevant or they bring it up, but mostly in postive "we're okay" kind of ways.

Because, in the end, we're okay.