Monday, March 30, 2015


Here we go, a short recitation of my life since last Wednesday, I'm using google voice recognition because there is still an IV needle Medlock in my right hand.
Wed:  the pain started around 2 though I hadn't felt well while grocery shopping at 130. but at some point I looked at my belly button and noticed the petechiae and bruising and realized that the sharp pains and nausea are not good. I called my doctor and Mama and we got to the ER around 3:45. I had probably six injections of morphine before the evening was over so bad was the abdominal pain and cramping. The doctors were concerned about the bruising around my belly button / hernia scar and so they were talking surgery.
Thur:  surgery was first thing in the morning I think, but only after the painful introduction of the nasogastric intestinal tube.  I don't want to talk about it. I don't remember most of the rest of the day I think the surgery took a few hours and I didn't learn until a few days later that they removed a 6 to 8 inch portion of my small intestine which had become wrapped up and even infiltrated by the mesh from my old hernia scar.  Apparently they were really worried.  They started the surgery laparoscopically but had to move to a full abdominal incision from my breast bone almost to my c-section scar. I'm told I still have my belly button but I have refused to look.  I am think there are dozens of staples.
Friday:  I think I slept most of the day Friday in a darkened room on lots of morphine and other things. All I remember is the Tube. Though at one time I also had the Foley, oxygen, and the two IVs.    I remember the ancient aliens guy with the fluffy hair. at some point I also watched dangerous weather shows and something about quicksand.  I know I was on some heavy morphine because I have weird memories of feeling like I was floating or flying between the puffing and deflating of the special bed mattress and the leg cuffs for clots.  I didn't feel like I had a regular body, the leg cuffs especially were like a special massage, the part of me that felt the very best. It was trippy.
My beloved Mama was with me the whole time, also juggling dear Babysitter and miss K and daughter babysitter who were lifesavers.  I got some beautiful red roses from Gommie and Pop which brighten the room and a sweet little purple vaze of flowers from
Saturday:  I got up to walk around the ward much more on Saturday and in doing so met both of the chaplain and the therapy dog which were really important encounters for me.  Chaplain I talked a little bit about her training and her experiences at the hospital and then we prayed for patience for me because by then the NG tube consumed most of my thoughts. It caused me to feel like I was choking, hindered any speaking, and in general hurt. Even medical professionals who talked to me felt bad about that tube.  Goo visited on his way to spend the day with the kids and relieve mama, which was very nice. He makes a good doctor and sympathetic friend. The kids loved having him to play with. I think this was the day there was snow my days are getting a little confused but it is snowing as I record this and I think it's lovely. I'm in the minority of one on this though. I think that was the night that Aunt Banana and I texted each other and she even ended up talking to my nurses; they found this very sweet and entertaining.  Aunt Banana, these experiences always give me a new appreciation for the amazing and challenging work that you do.  Thank you.
Sunday:  This was a banner day. The Tube came out!  Mama had come for a visit but was down getting lunch when they ripped the 60 millimeter tube out of my nose and throat and stomach. It was the best feeling ever to breathe and swallow and talk again hallelujah! Rejoice!  Swallowing that first sip of cold water was the best thing ever followed by cranberry juice and for dinner jello and putting in sherbert and broth.
But the very best part of Sunday was it the kids came for a visit after their trampoline birthday party with a friend. think they were nervous to come visit which is totally understandable so we sent them a picture of me smiling with the stuffed bunny they'd given me so I looked normal and of course we wouldn't have let them come if the tube had still been in place.  We spent two hours walking in the ward, eating my dinner, meeting my nurses, using the art supplies Mama gotten me-- mama is a hospital genius--hugging and chatting and cuddling and playing on the bed.  The perfect end to a good day.  They'll come back this Monday afternoon and everyday after school that I am not dismissed.  I'm guessing it'll be Tuesday at the earliest.  So I'm doing a ton of walking, drinking, and breathing exercises to be ready.
Some final notes: I am very aware of my privilege with regard to immediate quality emergency healthcare probably very well coveredby our generous insurance supplied by Mama's employer.  I am in the minority even in our rich land and this saddens me even as I benefit from it.
At the same time that I'm going through this, my dear friend, teacher had knee surgery and is at home recovering I was supposed to be her escort and mail provider during this and have not been able to but I hear she is recovering well.  Yay!!!  Also the daughter of a person of my acquaintance has been diagnosed with a heart issue and is in the hospital as well this weekend though not I think the one I'm in. I am grateful that it was me not my children who required emergency surgery last week and I pray for good recovery and prognosis for the little girl.
Lastly there are ever so many people to be thankful for today from the hospital staff doctors nurses and techs to those people closer to us who have helped take care of the kids and those who are surrounding us in love and organizing meals, with sending emails and Facebook updates, too many to mention.  I feel the blessing of their love and care and am grateful for our sacred community.

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